A Heart With Teeth

I like you better when you are
very, very quiet.

I still see your fluttering hands,
shuffling to the Devil.
Wiggling.
He is waiting with his mouths open;
Frozen.
Waiting for you with his hands swaying.
Waiting for you.
Crying.
He loves you,
more than I ever could.

Mad Arabs are running wild,
calling my name;
Beyond the city walls.
Saladin knows me,
as he knows this well below the city.
He knows me and I can see,
Christians in blinding armor,
wilting in the desert sun;
sinking into the sand,
lining the horizon.
Standards in the wind;
Futile men in futile arms.
I sit down at the pharaoh's temple,
and I weep;
I watch the cats take the souls of the dead.

I am standing in the creek.
Snow is falling all around me.
I jump;
send droplets into the frozen mist,
startling black birds to air.
My skin in veins of ice,
cracked patterns,
all blue in clear cedar lights.
You called me;
Ice maiden,
in colder pastures,
running on.
To the wintery kingdom,
I run on.

When the light hits me,
when my eyes are momentarily blinded in its' bathing;
I stare at the darkened faces of the audience,
looking for the recognition in their eyes.
In these moments I am a swaying goddess,
with my lips parted;
I am a glitter wound,
in the minds of the impartial parties,
to the reign of this queen in bone corsets.
Bone Queen.
Ice Maiden.
Desert Cat.

I am waiting for the night to fall,
so I can sneak out and feign normalcy,
among these crowds of happy giggling sycophantic lovers;
Staring glassy-eyed at each others mouths,
hungry for freedom.
I hate them.
I hate them all.
I kiss like glass,
pouring blood down your throat;
A predatory lover.
A burning crown of fiery points in my hair,
and I am calling God for you.
Calling for you,
in this snuffed out night,
Among these fools and righteous men.

Your words are all apologies and sugar.
You are pouring them in my ear,
flicking your tongue in and out seductively.
Every time you smile,
I make the wrong choice.
He's still on your lips,
I can taste it.
I can taste the reaching,
the being,
the eyes.
Your fingers playing drumbeats on my hips.
You want me to dream you;
Cripple you, little god.
You say,
"I like the way you smile,
when you hurt me."

I'm crawling to you now.
You rise up;
Angry.
Bury yourself in me,
up to the hilt.
Sometimes I want to be like you.
I want to leave you in the hands of these giggling psychopaths,
who will stroke your hair,
whisper sweet nothing into your ears,
kiss your eyes,
and drive their fists into your chest;
Searching.
Searching for your heart.
Stealing me with them,
one night after another;
Until I can finally find God,
so far away from your arms.

I am coming through the trees,
oh God.
I am coming.
I am coming for the light,
shining on me.
I can see,
the world stretching before me,
I am coming to die.
Old demon,
I am so rudely forced.
And I am coming to die,
at your feet.
I am waiting for your spark,
to burn the fucking room down.

I wake up and find,
to my disappointment;
That I still seem to be breathing.