don't do drugs before a job interview
or maybe it was
brush your teeth after giving a blow job
or don't put bras in the dryer
I can't remember
what I do know is
all of this sucks
and my pussy gets wet
when I think of you
but I can't muster the forward momentum
to even bother getting out of bed
most mornings
and I sleep through beautiful
spring days
and wake up when the sun is setting
by the ocean
blinking it's big yellow eye at me
and my ennui
you punch yourself in the face
I swallow some pills
and a couple of drinks
and feel nothing
holy fuck
how do I feel this much
... nothing?
Nothing
not a thing
it's all just...
whatever
hey how about this?
how about we be terrible together?
we could be great in our awfulness
curl up in a little ball under the covers
and pretend the world wasn't out there
we could touch each other
be inside each other
taste each other
whisper little secrets to each other
lov...
wait...
never-mind
even my masturbation is lazy
I drink beer in the shower
but neglect to wash my hair for days
it hangs about my face in lank strips
as I trip over the vacuum cleaner I left
in the middle of the floor
I had this inclination for a few minutes
that I would clean my life up
but instead the sucking reminded me
of the endless chasm of my life
and I collapsed exhausted on the couch
the floor only half cleaned
or maybe it reminded me of blow jobs
I can't remember which
...whatever
