Hoof

war spit
curly haired motherfucker
came down here
to tell me
what was what

and then fell in love
with his best friend

I stomped
snorted
growled
turned my head
and groaned

hey now come on
smoke skin
I saw you coming
right up over that ridge
on the train bridge
in the middle of the night

'Can I come home with you?'
you're so fucking pretty
you think I haven't seen
those same mountians
I was born here
straight from the boulders
in the valley

we climbed them
stomping
the herd
clicking
their heels
down the road

and when that horse 
died on the fence
we saved her skull
and the old farmer
more practical than us  
said she had many foals

our wars were over a hundred years ago
those hooves still echo
over long buried battlefields
ghosts still wander this land
from a far flung tradition
to yours

stagger 
too much liquor
and even quicker
tried to bite me  
and that old dusty
toppled down
church
reared up in my head
and the thorny wild roses
made a canopy
of green and pink
and I only ever saw you after dark
when our worlds
attempted with rather futile measures
to blend
and failed

and in this old land
with new people
in this broken down
cracked right up
leaking and seeping
body
I heard them running
hoof to packed dirt
and let you go
over that rocky cliff face
in spirit
more Devil
than I was ever any kind of good   

    

Suicide Love Note

Who would want me?
I don't even want me.
I'm just waving from the pond
ducking under the water
with stones in my pockets
little drips of cyanide
leaving acid punches
to the inside of my cheeks
deep in love
with the hole
in the backyard
I dug it last year
keep the dog far hence
lest he dig it up again
I planted bone trees
in the bone yards
bleached by the sun
worn by the weather
I'm leaking love
spitting out charm
choking on need
trying to fuck my way
to forgiveness
and failing
and flailing
and tumbling
down the steps
of your indifference
fucking those pretty whores
in their pretty faces
I don't wanna
know anything anymore
why do I have to put up
with your guilt?
I did nothing
to deserve it
and I lack it entirely
I've got a note for you
I wrote it on my flesh
in the form of black eyes
and fucked up
reasonable decisions
Love is the lie they tell
to you
when they want
your legs to open up
and your cunt to spill out
I fucked the world
looking for you
and you would rather
kill your heart
than let me know you
I found the reason to die
and it was in your eyes
the whole fucking time

The Curse of the Placeholder

"just something better
a tether
cleaner weather
less of your fucked up leather


no more cat fur up my nose
or writhing against your rose
trying to get you somewhere
 you seem to be unable to get

I'm falling asleep
and my hand is sore
you have your uses
but you are a bore

no more, no more
I seek perfection
an erection
that never dies

that girl with diamond eyes
obedient
who never cries
never flies

you witchy thing
should burn on your own pyre
too tired, too very tired
to want to deal with you tonight

and I take flight
and all is right"

 he spat the words
out at me
venom dripping
down his lips

I took a big sip
of that poison
tongue tip
and longed for oblivion
on the face of the sun

Burn me
I am the Curse
I'll make love to smoke
and be one with ash

and watch you search for that better piece of ass

Dead Channel

I can hear you
trying to haunt me
your voice
coming through
like broken static
phonetic
frantic
cracked and crackling
ghost transmissions
on the still air of bright nights

hey, those
radio frequencies
my silver fillings
are trying to pick up
static
where your words
used to be
hissing through
the frayed wiring
of my soul
come in over Toyko
somewhere over Hawaii
can you hear me?

rattling around in my head
reverberating off the walls
I turn over
I turn the dial
I change the channel
big old test pattern
in the sky
the colour of scratched records

you got some
tv antennas caught in your hair
and big parasitic
advertisers jacking your waves
reprogramming
your late night
monster movies
to sell us
sentimental bullshit
packaged in sexist
dessert recipes
and bikini photos

you haunt me
with noise
broadcast every stupid thought
straight through rewiring
down fiber-optic cables
and up old copper tubes
I take the old Nintendo
into the other room
I'm going to play Mario
until dawn crackles
out distant warnings
over electric mountians
to drown out
your moaning
straight through the charged air
all wireless
until the end of my ears

only binary coded
sunlight knows the truth
and you turned it all off
years ago
anyways
the great switch in the sky
hard wired to your passing whims
'hey there
dancing robot girl
get up and dance for me'
I'd give anything to be
a sexy cyborg demon
and eat your
cognitive
heart right out of your
shiny tin chest

fuck the stars
in the space we
burned out for them
and fuck your
electornic
advances
while we're at it
I'll see you in the Hell
where they send rotary phones
and rabbit eared TV sets
you'll find me on the throne
cybernetic vengaence
with your name
still warm on my lips
and your robotic blood
still sticky on my hips

Collections of Terrible Things

the best advice I ever got?
don't do drugs before a job interview

or maybe it was
brush your teeth after giving a blow job

or don't put bras in the dryer

I can't remember

what I do know is
all of this sucks
and my pussy gets wet
when I think of you

but I can't muster the forward momentum
to even bother getting out of bed
most mornings

and I sleep through beautiful
spring days
and wake up when the sun is setting
by the ocean
blinking it's big yellow eye at me
and my ennui

you punch yourself in the face
I swallow some pills
and a couple of drinks
and feel nothing

holy fuck
how do I feel this much
... nothing?

Nothing
not a thing
it's all just...

whatever

hey how about this?
how about we be terrible together?
we could be great in our awfulness
curl up in a little ball under the covers
and pretend the world wasn't out there
we could touch each other
be inside each other
taste each other
whisper little secrets to each other
lov... 
wait...
never-mind

even my masturbation is lazy
I drink beer in the shower
but neglect to wash my hair for days
it hangs about my face in lank strips
as I trip over the vacuum cleaner I left
in the middle of the floor

I had this inclination for a few minutes
that I would clean my life up
but instead the sucking reminded me
of the endless chasm of my life
and I collapsed exhausted on the couch
the floor only half cleaned

or maybe it reminded me of blow jobs

I can't remember which

...whatever

Not Today

quick
rabbit heart
you beat too fast

i stood at the edge
watched you
slip out the door

quick
but smiling
dreamy eyed thing

fluttering
like a red bird
in my hand

i am not dead cells
tonight
not devouring

i am not fear
rest upon my lap
and find comfort

skin
milky and perfect
wreckless

breathing
fingers laced
in flowing hair

truth nearly there
quick
as the morning creeps

and i lay my head
down
and thought

someday
yes someday
but just not today