Ugly God

chitter chitter chitter
you taste is so bitter

I want to spit you out
I want to vomit up
the vile bile you force
down my raw throat

your semen is acid
your smile a skeletal parody
tap tap tapping
ugly fingers on my skull

and I am in the thrall
twisting my spine
until the vertebrae crack
snicker snack

i will wither
on my haunches
blood streaming down my thighs
I fight the sigh the moans the cries

you make me die
little angry god
with his little angry fists
pounding away at me

chit chit twit twit
flashing those red eyes at me
I can see
right down to your toes

and I am vomiting
spitting hitting back writhing
riding this out
my jaw clenched and my hatred sealed

jug jug twit twit
my ugly god
I am before you
sacrificed like a lamb

I am before you
pieces now
I infect you now
and make you choke

on my ever spreading smoke
you burned me
but I came back as ash
sucked the oxygen from the room

and while you grasp at your throat
rasp at the door
know I saw you before
and made this all happen

just to see you chitter
and wither on that endless floor

It Could Have Been Me

it could have been me
with lips pressed down on my neck
gasping in the background
hurling through space
like a rocket rabbit
right up the side of the world

it could have been me
but you didn't like how
I tasted and basted
all full of vanilla ice cream
and chocolate covered gummy bears

it could have been me
on the side of the road that
night with headlights
flashing past me
like sharks circling
chunks of bloody chum
in ugly waters

it could have been me
but I hated the feel of timid
admissions of guilt
and beguiling beginnings
all wrapped up in cellophane
looking away

it could have been me
but I was actually
searching for a way out
scratching at the door
prying up the tiles
picking at the edge of the carpet
looking for the escape hatch

it could have been me
but I don't actually
like late shift
coffee shops
or jazz music holes
tapped into false beatnik
skin windows

it could have been you
but I thought too often
about smashing the bridge
of your nose into dust
with my hammer fists
and I never liked
the way you looked at me

so it wasn't me
and we never did
but I do know what
the stars look like
on the otherside of the moon
and what you look like
when you are crying unattractive tears

Down at the Cannibal Cafe

Down at the Cannibal Cafe
they're serving up
racks of Leroy
and eyeball soup

The sauce is as red as congealed blood
and sticks to the roof of your mouth
you can get a tomato and accountant
sandwich for the price
of a cup of coffee from the fancy place
down the street

Down at the Cannibal Cafe
they make sure you never go hungry
they fill your plate with
liver and brain
and something gelatinous
slopping over the edges

 you never go hungry
Down at the Cannibal Cafe

where the musicians
play nightly
on drums made of tattooed skin
and bang on old hollow skulls
with shin bones
they get a little raucous
when the whisky runs out
and have been known to
throw the grill through
the front window
on special occasions

but you never go hungry
down at the Cannibal Cafe
the waitresses with something red
and dead
smeared down the front of
their aprons
always make sure your glass is full
even if you find the occasional finger bone
in your punch

the chef has a whole wall
of the biggest, shiniest meat cleavers
you ever did see
down at the Cannibal Cafe

he likes to finger them
while taking your order
and once threw one
through a uppity yuppie's
brain pan
and the porridge had a lot
of weird clumps in it
the next morning

Down at the Cannibal Cafe
there are chickens running free in the kitchen
and rats paying checkers in the back
the cashier's cigarette dangles
between his greasy lips
with a full inch of ash
perpetually threatening to fall
in your plate of eggs and scrambled kidneys
delivery men tend to disappear
Down at the Cannibal Cafe
and nobody knows why

There's pelvic bones hanging from the ceiling
There's fingernails in the coffee
There's lipstick on the cups
and sometimes you even find the lips
still attached
There's something lumpy
and unidentifiable in the chili
The chef has be adding arsenic
to the ice cream lately
but if you hang around long enough
you get used to it

Down at the Cannibal Cafe
you never go hungry
but you have to be awful careful
you don't end up on the menu
and I suggest staying away
from the tuna surprise

God, I'm Hungry

I have a secret drawer
I keep my lovers there
I hide them under my father's obituary
and one of the few medals
I ever won
You never gave me a letter
and I had to steal a photo
so I have little to keep
and fewer places to remember them
stuck between the pages of some volume
I hid my hunger
the petals of a different love
and I forgot about them
someday in the mountians of books
that fill my bookcases
I will stumble across it again
and remember something
feel something
trace those pressed edges
and peel up the corners
my underneath
never really forgets
I move on
but I am not the kind
to ever really let go
it's always under there
somewhere
maybe stuck to the underside of the desk
weighed down by old trinkets
but I never really
let my love for you go
I am as dusty
as a dust jacket
crinkled like ancient paper
I pressed myself in those pages long ago
between those covers
petrified like old cookies
warm as chocolate tea
that's where I keep my secret hunger
folded and bent
under a thousand feet
of broken heart pieces
with the curse
of a good memory
and the prying apart
of tenderest lips

Call Me The Beast

unrelenting happiness
makes me want to choke you
on your own teeth

the gash is me
the blood is awash
in a sea of blackness
filling up my vile soul

I am the villian
in my own story
the monster
in your head
and under your bed

I am the ankle grabber
snake of split tongue
self-styled wretch
with rancoured eyes

the hated
and the devoured

I've come for dinner
set up in your chest
I break the strings of your heart
with my teeth
flesh drips from my jaws
in long lurid strips
I am a parade
of dead things
and I taste of rot

they raised me ugly
cold
up above their heads
they made me
fed me
and set me on the world

I bite the fingers that feed me
I revel in my ugliness
I sit on my throne
of oozing thorns
with bits of my lovers
waving like flags

lulling tongue
cunt lined with teeth
I dance on severed heads
and pick the great bones
of battle yards

I am sickness
burrowed  down whole
I am the rage
that consumed the world
I skitter up the side of your head
and pluck out your eyeballs
I love nothing
and eat those foolish enough
to get so fearfully close

it is at the guarding of thy death that I am
and I shall be
never call my name
and never open thy eyes to see

It's Okay, I Know the Beast

I want you dark and dirty
frowning
deep with concentration
as you burrow into my eyes

I can't remember the colour
but I remember
your muscles sliding under your skin
I remember the Apache mounting the hill

traveling up the length of me
I want you slipping
losing your grip on my thighs
falling down river sides
drowning in cunt juice

I saw the cold creeping into you eyes
I thought I was a poet
I thought I could capture this in stupid flowery language
I fed you my song
the song I forgot the words too
and could only hum the tune

you climb those mountains with her hands
mine trapped right here in this bed
I want you between bloody sheets
bloody land between my legs
I have no ground
no ground to plant your feet in

the stars have abandoned me
the ocean spat me back out
young girls lay flowers at your feet
I have only thorns
pretty fat thorns lining my vaginal walls

swaying breasts
filling your mouth
milk of numb gods
with dumb mumbling glazed over eyes
I stumble on the stairs outside your door
and leave pieces of my knees
for you to step on in the morning

I am not beautiful
though I often wish I could be
that lake was as green as my eyes
I wanted to take you there
watch the dragonflies mate in the sunset
show you where the moss met the stream
where that black tail disappeared forever
stepping softly between worn rocks
and rainbow trout

I am too ugly
to bring home to your mother
too monstrous to admit to
rail car teeth
scrapyard smile
backwoods gait
stupid clicking tongue
pale lips
and broken fingernails

Too crooked to care
Too frail to stand
Too stupid to love

you've got better things to do
and I've got a pile of blankets to hide beneath
come find me
when you have no prettier skirts
to slip your hands under

Butcher

that heavy wet slap
of raw meat
against the concrete floor

thick blood
oozing over the edge
of the metal table

the split splat
of congealed
fluid striking
the drain cover

the knife makes
its work quick
sharp in the pale light
flashing above his head

ligament comes away
from bone
with a snap

bone cracks
as it is manipulated
and forced from the sockets

flesh hangs
in strips from the ceiling
red and lurid

like grotesque flags
signaling
a dead parade

now the cleaver
flashes up and down
chop chop chopping
at sinuous tendons
and fleshy mounds of muscle

bloody steaks
and pale fat
carefully ground meat
packaged all up for the freezer

brown paper hiding
those sliced and diced
bits of tasty corpulence

those meals
to future mouths
watering in anticipation

this flesh so strange
so buttery
so lithe and lean

dinner will be an event
of vigor and robustness
tasted upon the fatted tongue

he will pull your chair out for you
bow deeply at the waist
fill your glass with garnet wine
and on the meat of blackened paradise
you will dine

Wolf Heart Devours Rabbit Heart

big thick ropey chunks
dripping from your teeth
all full up on me
stringy flesh bend down

bright red slash
for a smile
you devour
and blame me

dripping drops
splatter patterns on the walls
painted in deep gore
of uninterrupted love

the chase beat
against foreign hills
through sinister forests
and found me here

no breath
down in frost like ground
all caught up in your mouth
humbled to sharpness

just under you
softest fur
the ecstasy of  blameless mouths
hunter eyes always find me

I open the door
big big white teeth
all grin and threatening beauty
come on in

I serve up heart for dinner
bleeding kisses
down the neck of forever
and you will always devour

the Wolf heart
consumes the Rabbit heart
and we move on
from there