Ugly God

chitter chitter chitter
you taste is so bitter

I want to spit you out
I want to vomit up
the vile bile you force
down my raw throat

your semen is acid
your smile a skeletal parody
tap tap tapping
ugly fingers on my skull

and I am in the thrall
twisting my spine
until the vertebrae crack
snicker snack

i will wither
on my haunches
blood streaming down my thighs
I fight the sigh the moans the cries

you make me die
little angry god
with his little angry fists
pounding away at me

chit chit twit twit
flashing those red eyes at me
I can see
right down to your toes

and I am vomiting
spitting hitting back writhing
riding this out
my jaw clenched and my hatred sealed

jug jug twit twit
my ugly god
I am before you
sacrificed like a lamb

I am before you
pieces now
I infect you now
and make you choke

on my ever spreading smoke
you burned me
but I came back as ash
sucked the oxygen from the room

and while you grasp at your throat
rasp at the door
know I saw you before
and made this all happen

just to see you chitter
and wither on that endless floor

Fucker

though faceless and thick
it knows its way around the room
it knows the secret names
I keep for things
and where I hide my chocolate bars
its leafing through my magazines
digging around in my porn stash
rearranging the shelves
and driving me crazy
it broke several glasses
smashed them to little bits
on the kitchen floor
ate all the cereal
and put the milk carton
back in the fridge empty
it smoked my last cigeratte
and finished the bottle of Jim Beam
it scratched up my favorite records
dog eared my books
got into my drugs
and smoked them all up
it stole my poems
and read them aloud
cackling wildly
it spent the night passed out
on the bathroom floor
and used all the hot water
if I could just get my hands on it
I'd strangle it all the way
when I look straight forward
I see the two of us
but when I turn my head
no one's there
and my fingers pass through air

I Hate the Word

Is love not a vile and formless thing?
Is it not all tripped forward in flesh
hastened to punished hearts
and be quickly thrown up
like two fingers down the throat?

I vomit these words up
like Clean Christians
applying hot pokers
to naked pagans

I twist 'i love you'
around snarled lips
with a tongue so bruised
in deep purples
that only spit and bile
come to the surface
and gurgle out around
my crooked teeth

all like a buzzing
of collected bees
under my wane and pale skin
and in silk covers
all wrapped in finery
face applied
and held still like granite
I find no comfort
and spew blood upon white gowns
and smiling sycophants

I spit up love
oh wretched thing that you are
I spit it up
onto the lapsing scenery
the collapsing dreamlessness of morrow's day
where garish sun sinks to Death's kingdom
and lovers become anchors
to my blackened vomitous soul
in the dark depths
of frozen oceans on the point of the known world

tread not where monsters touch
the faces of fair maidens
and in my fury
I am blind
o'er I catch your love all up
in all but these crooked sharpened teeth
and tear it to little bloody rags
on the edge of your fraying mercy

I cough up 'i love you'
in great black chunks
and gouge my green eyes out
for this is a vile and formless thing
this horrible love
that has found its way
to the bottom of my bottomless heart

Bed-Bugged

I would not suggest to you
an extended vacation in my bed

for I toss and I turn
and I find myself uncomfortable
all the night long

I really am
a terrible bet
and a bear in the morning

do not dip your hand
below my waistband
in an attempt
at playful dawn reforestations

I might take it upon myself to bite you
to nip at your fingers
until you shriek
and take your hand back from me

I have sharp teeth
and I enjoy the taste of fingerprints

I am not particularly fond of your morning halitosis
I prefer to keep all the blankets to myself
your breath is making my neck hot
and I want my pillow back

no matter where I plan my legs
yours seem to be a tangle in the way
my arm has gone to sleep
while I plot my revenge with my own pins and needles

you are on my hair again
as you latch your hands onto my breasts
I am rolling and rolling and have nearly
rolled clean off the bed

I wish you would stop trying to sleep on top of me
didn't you read the sign on the way in
written in bold letters above the doorway?
It states my positions quite clearly:

"Don't Plan On Long Stays,
Please Depart With A Minimal Amount of Fuss,
You See, I'm Trying To Sleep,
And In All Actuality I Probably Hate Your Guts."

Lady Resurrection

I have you to thank for this,
for this empty room
where I have come and made my home

I remember thinking it looked comfortable
with these walls painted in blood and chocolate and late summer fruits
but I can't remember if I thought I wanted to spend my life here

Justice is useless, unneeded and impotent
but I have it nonetheless
retribution was in my teeth when I kissed you

You with an acidic mouth
a twisting disposition sure to twist away from me
totality swaying your head for me

Swaying, snake-like rhythm
our home in words
your page is mine and you know how to hurt me

The sound is closer now
the droning is filling up my head
I am kissing with all my teeth
and screaming with all my resurrection intact

I am the red queen
naked in your bed
a kingdom of crumpled sheets
at your feet
and my hair taking over the pillows

You stood in the corner
gently mouthing
'I made a mistake'

The mistake was made before you and I came here
and I have guarded it with all my armies
all my damned men still mine in God's eyes

I am a resurrection just for you
You called me Lady Returner
couldn't burn me out of the room
even when you turned your back
and hated me with all your heart

I can not see you
I never could
and the anger in me flew out
with great black wings
and shouted at the men below
until they clutched their heads
and crumpled to the ground

And what am I now but the vessel
the holy order of emptiness
marching into an angry dawn
with your name upon my lips
my feet pointed to oblivion
and my mind bent beyond the ever-loving tongue of God