yeux vers

"I just don't feel right,
unless I see my lover every night"

garnet lipped dips
beyond the hem of the skirt
the flirt
sliding up against you
green eyes fading into the dark
where is her spark?

she screams in the deepness
pants at the edge of the bed
she's so wrong
and will never be right

but your fingers sink into her skin
your tongue finding her mouth so sweet
and the heat
from her
burns
and turns
ecstasy traveling up your limbs

and she fights
against you
for you
to be near you

slips into the night
breathless
reeling on the edge of the dance floor
her eyes ever searching for you
trying to find you in the smoke
green eyes following you down the stairs
and to the back room

you hate her
pretty but wrong
wrong shape
wrong thoughts
wrong balance
wrong dreams
wrong place
wrong time

she comes back
sweet green eyes and stolen kiss
anger and hurt
simmering just underneath them
every night you can feel her thinking about you
loving you
crying for you
under the weight of a thousand bad dreams

and you won't come
you'll feel right
in flight
and find that better lay
proper
balanced
obedient
a better day
and you'll feel just right

she's the burden you long to leave
and never can
green eyes heave
and bury themselves without you ever noticing

It's Okay, I Know the Beast

I want you dark and dirty
frowning
deep with concentration
as you burrow into my eyes

I can't remember the colour
but I remember
your muscles sliding under your skin
I remember the Apache mounting the hill

traveling up the length of me
I want you slipping
losing your grip on my thighs
falling down river sides
drowning in cunt juice

I saw the cold creeping into you eyes
I thought I was a poet
I thought I could capture this in stupid flowery language
I fed you my song
the song I forgot the words too
and could only hum the tune

you climb those mountains with her hands
mine trapped right here in this bed
I want you between bloody sheets
bloody land between my legs
I have no ground
no ground to plant your feet in

the stars have abandoned me
the ocean spat me back out
young girls lay flowers at your feet
I have only thorns
pretty fat thorns lining my vaginal walls

swaying breasts
filling your mouth
milk of numb gods
with dumb mumbling glazed over eyes
I stumble on the stairs outside your door
and leave pieces of my knees
for you to step on in the morning

I am not beautiful
though I often wish I could be
that lake was as green as my eyes
I wanted to take you there
watch the dragonflies mate in the sunset
show you where the moss met the stream
where that black tail disappeared forever
stepping softly between worn rocks
and rainbow trout

I am too ugly
to bring home to your mother
too monstrous to admit to
rail car teeth
scrapyard smile
backwoods gait
stupid clicking tongue
pale lips
and broken fingernails

Too crooked to care
Too frail to stand
Too stupid to love

you've got better things to do
and I've got a pile of blankets to hide beneath
come find me
when you have no prettier skirts
to slip your hands under

Golgotha

I thought
'this must be
what fucking Jesus Christ
is like'

your hips slamming into the thickness
of my thighs
gasps unwillingly escaping
my lips
like little breathless prayers
to dieing saints

my fingers nestled in that crown
of flesh
teeth in my shoulder
I'm searching for
just the right feeling

just the right spot
for a holy vision
and black lights
sparkling before my face

your cheek pressed against mine
leaden breath
ragged in my ear
your fingertips dug
into the meat of my ass
I saw God
in your heavy eyes

your hardened flesh
the spear
little deaths all inside me
little resurrections with each
shuddering thrust

I can almost see your halo
a shining aura of golden light
your lips at my breast
trying to find how deep I go
this holy well
this fount of wicked blood

my tongue so nimble
it utters your secret name
as it wraps around you
snake that I am
with great curled horns
burden of knowledge

I can make you come
for eternity
and feel just how awful
goodness always is

Not Today

quick
rabbit heart
you beat too fast

i stood at the edge
watched you
slip out the door

quick
but smiling
dreamy eyed thing

fluttering
like a red bird
in my hand

i am not dead cells
tonight
not devouring

i am not fear
rest upon my lap
and find comfort

skin
milky and perfect
wreckless

breathing
fingers laced
in flowing hair

truth nearly there
quick
as the morning creeps

and i lay my head
down
and thought

someday
yes someday
but just not today