Ma'at

turn your big white
lidless eye
on me
pallid moon

witness to my rising
crown of teeth
at calvary
I dug up ancient red skull

I saw alters to cats
I watched the dead
weigh their souls against feathers
I saw blood run waist deep in the street

history was a flat disc
flattened by murderous hands
that molded us in its image
and the lidless moon watched all

never blinked
never sinked
below that dark horizon
Morning Star carried her on his back

Morning Star fell
and kissed her on the way down
Lilith is my willful mother
formed from dust and spit

we saw the shore
heard Romans slashing the gates
saw Germanic tribes gashing the Romans
saw all and breathed life into careful death

Furies gave me name at the foot of Dis
The Morrigan built me a heart of battlefield meat
Scathach broke my fingers
and Hecate filled my head with stars

they named my flesh Woman
set me in the way of all men
so insolent and sure
their dicks swinging in their hands

set me, Woman, in the way
gave me divine right, judgement
set big pallid moon
pulling at my womb

told me to tug the world from mud
stand against little vengeful god
vomit at his feet
as we live without him

big white moon
eternal, lidless
turn your eye on me
as I rip their ribs out

and remake the heavens in the image of Woman

Seraphim

peel back the darkness and you will find skin
peel back the skin and you will find bone
peel back the bones and you will find the emptiness
that is the center of me
so banged full of stars and swirling galaxies

you can't make everything all right in one night
my quiver is not done
and my aim is all too true
skin of my skin dream my blood tonight
and settle by my side

single kiss to my shoulder
I shudder straight through blush
and sigh to the pillow's soft mountians
I cling to what your fingers say
dancing to the edge of seraphic denseness

my darkness all upon your fingertips
the taste metallic and crimson
as you lick each dripping drop
you dive in face first to those soft folds of fur
and come up not for air

lap at the milk of sweetest whitened flesh
mounds swaying before your face
lip to tongue to teeth
all a shivering mass at your touch
blood of my blood dream my skin tonight

and each gentle dying ember
sings a song upon rivulets of sweat
little streams of forgettfulness
each dying ghost
slipping out the door

skin of my skin
blood of my blood
dream of my dreams
let the darkness swallow
the world whole
and in starlight
bend to the bone of shallow angelic will

Dead Channel

I can hear you
trying to haunt me
your voice
coming through
like broken static
phonetic
frantic
cracked and crackling
ghost transmissions
on the still air of bright nights

hey, those
radio frequencies
my silver fillings
are trying to pick up
static
where your words
used to be
hissing through
the frayed wiring
of my soul
come in over Toyko
somewhere over Hawaii
can you hear me?

rattling around in my head
reverberating off the walls
I turn over
I turn the dial
I change the channel
big old test pattern
in the sky
the colour of scratched records

you got some
tv antennas caught in your hair
and big parasitic
advertisers jacking your waves
reprogramming
your late night
monster movies
to sell us
sentimental bullshit
packaged in sexist
dessert recipes
and bikini photos

you haunt me
with noise
broadcast every stupid thought
straight through rewiring
down fiber-optic cables
and up old copper tubes
I take the old Nintendo
into the other room
I'm going to play Mario
until dawn crackles
out distant warnings
over electric mountians
to drown out
your moaning
straight through the charged air
all wireless
until the end of my ears

only binary coded
sunlight knows the truth
and you turned it all off
years ago
anyways
the great switch in the sky
hard wired to your passing whims
'hey there
dancing robot girl
get up and dance for me'
I'd give anything to be
a sexy cyborg demon
and eat your
cognitive
heart right out of your
shiny tin chest

fuck the stars
in the space we
burned out for them
and fuck your
electornic
advances
while we're at it
I'll see you in the Hell
where they send rotary phones
and rabbit eared TV sets
you'll find me on the throne
cybernetic vengaence
with your name
still warm on my lips
and your robotic blood
still sticky on my hips

Monstrous Heart

"she's not human"
must have been what my demons
were whispering in his ear
because his face contorted
before I even brought out
the sharpest knife

"you know what I believe in?"
I mused
I didn't wait for him to answer
"Sex.
And violence.
And revenge.
And all the good things in life."

I smiled gently as I bent over him,
and with lips pressed against his ear
whispered,
"you should probably close your eyes for this part.
You don't want to see this."

Beauty (My Father's Hands)

you say
'i am too bruised for you
i can't survive myself
look at these angry scratches
this swelling place
where would you see beauty
in these fists?'

you know
my father came home every day
with darkly stained hands
from chain oil
and axle grease
smudges on his face
dirt in his eyelashes

he was a mountain of man
to me
his hands never clean
shaggy beard
wild hair
booming laugh
as he roared into the yard
in his one tonne chariot
with two flat tires

everyday he came home
with sawdust in his hair
and huge hands
lugging a chainsaw
at his side
tossing his dirty bucking pants
over the living room chair
much to my mother's displeasure

everyday
he came home
covered in the filth of working men
rode the big machines
once came home with a branch
from a surprised falling tree
embedded in his leg
bleeding all over the seat vinyl
as my mother sped
the hour to the nearest hospital

every day there was sawdust
and blackened hands that never came clean
and splinters
and little scrapes where the sparks jumped back
and burnt his skin
and bruises from flying sticks
when great trees met the ground
at his shivering command

and everyday my father was beautiful to me

if you can not see the beauty of yourself
reflected in mine eyes
then you don't know who I am
and will never see where I came from

The Blood of the Morning

the pool deepened under me
as the sun
fractured the water
into dark depths of filmy
rakish shadows

I saw gleaming
to the edge of dawn
the blood of the morning
splitting the sky in two
and the water slipped
up my neck and into my mouth

clear coldness crept
shivering fingers
to the outline of my bones
and little ripples
waved around me
with my name slowly ebbing away

I shook my legs heavy
splashed my face
frigid to the rays
of golden headed raptures
down the all too clear skies
to the droplets glistening
in my floating nest of dark hair

silence
all mine
to tree lined shores

not a whisper
to corrupt
a break in the tidal flow
of purple star fish
and chirping shatter bird
high above the cliffs
and far from clattering
pebbled beaches

the waves reached
and flung their little rounded bodies
back
and I could hear the sound
as if a hundred little stone fingers
scrapping the sandy floor

only watered downed wood
will know my passing
a gentle slipping
through the water
my languid eyes open
to a polished depths

where they are
acrobats
of bug catchers
with glistening rainbow scales in the new day sun
flung to the heavens
like an arcing glitter to velvet dappled wings

and when skin is a fleshed pink
to the violet hue
of lapping
with tongue and gentle limb
though fluid in touch
and sliding between waves

I will find that rocky shore
with barest of foot
and nakedest of skin
dripping
a blushing shade of
my innocence
to the tilting sentience of emerald trees
akin to this my pastoral place of home
soaked with water-smoothed body and bone
in the long sandy line of the crystaled shimmering dawn

Lips as Red as Blood

my thighs are slick in a rush of blood
crimson thickness is running down my legs
past my knees
pooling at my ankles

it's filling up my mouth
when I part my lips
I can only speak in burbles
and spit the ground all red

the dirt drinks me deep
filling up the cracks in the landscape
my femininity dripping
a trail of jeweled droplets to his door

he can never understand my comfort
in the drips left behind on the white tiles
as I slip from the kitchen to the bedroom
seeking lips to kiss only hard

he cringes in the face of the female rigor
that stiffens my belly
with unkempt want and forgetful desire
he does not understand what it means to bleed

to bleed with no blooming wound
to sit folded in on your self
with fingers tipped in blood
and eyes heavy in unfocused thought

the ground is thirsty for me
the moon tugging at my white dress
slowly turning crimson in the fading night
as he twists nervously at the door

he is goose stepping around my trail
gingerly picking his way to a clean spot
he quivers, 'I can feel the red tide of you slamming into me
even with my back turned'

I whisper through lips as vermilion as blood
'then never turn your back on me
and you will never have to know the nightmares
I have been saving especially for you
never turn your back on me
and I will not come howling for you in the night.'

I take my white dress and crimson flowers
blooming all over the room
and fly up to the ceiling
grasping only shining bloodied kisses

I leave trails of garnet on his face
I tug at his hair
I weave in and out and in again
dipping my red fingerprints down his back

and when the night cries in staining tears
the patches he is unable to bleach away
he will remember me all in white
and know what it is to be wanted in only a hard red way

Bull's Blood

he raised the axe above his head
his swing long and true
the moonlight glinting down the blade
his hands straining against the wood

with my feet pounding down that dirt road
I saw his arms moving
my lungs burning with air
my blood cursing my veins

Big Black Bull
it's hot breath snorting
dust kicking up under its hooves
an eye gone wild pulling against the bonds

Big Black Bull
calling out to the night in frantic timing
my legs faltering as I ran down that drenched road
the darkness cutting before me

the Bull as black as the night surrounding it
I raised it up with my own hands
raised up that Bull
and called him mine

when the axe met its mark
that wild eye rolled back one last time
his arms shuddered with the impact
and the blade came away now dark with blood

finally reaching his side
he turned to me and said,
'gather up the blood in a steel dish,
for to waste nothing is to want for nothing'

I dropped down beside that great beast
its hot breath now cold and un-stirring
I dug my fingers into the dark bloodied fur
and nestled the dish beneath its throat

I wiped my hands on my long skirt
staining the fabric the deep red of Bull's Blood
my hands dark in dirt and fur
Bull's Blood running down my arms mingling in my own veins

I am now a bride of Bulls
mistletoe tangled in my hair
white Bulls at my side
my skin dark with blood

I who have seen them thundering from the sea
I who have seen the priests in the trees
I who have stood as Bull opened up the ground
I who have rode upon his back with swords in my arms

the Blood is flowing in me now
forcing my heart to beat
I turn one mad eye
and my breath comes out in a hot snort

he pivots to me at the sound
the axe still at his side
I run my hand through my hair
and feel for horns growing there