Iron Road

Up the Iron Road he came
Ignoring the brittle cries of
Protesting magpies
Circling the barbed wire fences
To hang their bloody prizes
Thorn birds hid in the blackberry brambles
And sleek eyed foxes
Dove to ground
At his passing footsteps
If he was worried
He showed it not
But continued to put one foot
In front of the other
As an indifferent sun burnt overhead
Turning his skin an angry red
To the West
Great fires burned
In the blackened timber
Licking candle tongues to the sky
Blotting out the horizon with great black plumes
In his chest his heart burned
Beat a beat for every step
Turned and boiled
Caught in his throat as he choked it down
To the South
The ocean rose up hills
And down cliffs
Flung itself into the ever greening tree line
As each emeraldneedle fought for the light
His eyes only saw the dark
The near black blue of deepest water
Where monsters turn
On the heels of broken ships
And wheel their mouths open
To devour whole
But here
On this Iron Road
He walked with purpose
If not a bit of a limp
And animals scurried from his path
To the under brush
His eyes never raised
His voice died in his mouth
And none marked his passing
Save the gentle puffs of red, red earth
That settled in the dead air
And did not stir again

Blister

I have been picking at my skin
digging with my dirty nails
down through layers
of meat
somewhere underneath there
the itch
is growing
inch by inch
and I can't get there
fast enough

you are a blister
pus filled
and oozing
I see
that green blood streaked
fluid
sloshing behind your eyes
I want to cut you open
and watch your juices run out

you have infected me
with all your vile
slimy
swamp toad ways
warts and all

if I kiss you
I won't get a prince
I'll get a mouthful
of sick
and ulcerated tissue
you are the acid kiss
that eats away at my gums
and breaks my teeth

 I've been digging away
at my skin for years now
ripping the scabs off
poking at the sore spots
watching the bruises bloom
deepest purple black
and still all I taste
is acid

you are a blister
more putrid than pure
and where your flaking skin falls
fungus grows
to mark the spot
where your soul
started to fester

your fetid love
is a boil
on my ass
and when I sit upon it
I can feel
all the pain you wished upon me
and still I find myself
gagging on
your ever searching
swamp water tongue
and I beg for more

Lilith

my vaginal canal is lined with razor teeth
my sex is an ever devouring shark
I give birth to the grotesque
many limbs
many heads
many blinking eyes
Lucifer loved me
Adam despised me
I attacked the cities by the sea
I fled to the mountains
and birthed my horrors
I am mother to monsters
the rage of every dominated woman
my children consume the offspring
of that tyrannical god
I am the dark Goddess
the demon queen
I chewed through my ropes
heaved myself over the wall
and spat on the doorstep of paradise
they fell
and we feasted upon them
when there was light
also was bred darkness
and my soul is imbued with it
I am the breeder of nightmares
long hair a tangle of thorns
white rose and my bloodied breath
and so great predators
gathered under me
his puppets tried to slay the great serpent
tried to prevent my fertility
but I came screaming down upon them
my gates were gates of death
and those who came to me
can not return to life
they came only to enter the Pit
and watched me kiss the mouth of Samuel
we are nephilim
the sparse pale moon my sister
I howled through the wind
chased fatted hypocrites
on their wobbling legs
over the hills of my own vengeance
I ate their hearts without fear
I stood on their graves
and terrified their children
I am the Other God
the Blind Dragon
and my femininity
will fill up all the holes
of his most imperfect savage world

SpectreLand

I keep the horror in my bedside table drawer
turn it on high when I need a blood transfusion
and a bad dream
the hinges scream
wake up the neighbors
they cover their ears
knowing it's happening again
who is that raven haired ghost?
they know I'm haunting the rooms
moving the walls
tossing the furniture
ripping up the floor boards
and in the morning
it will all be back in place
just like no one was ever there
the quiet
will be frightening
stillness
becomes a horror of its own
I own it
parade it around
like a rotting gown
all laced Victorian will
mourning enamel etched into the crowns
little skulls
with grinning faces
a flowing of eyes
drifting in on gossamer mist
the staircase breathes
shifts and creaks
the walls rupture
the yellow paper covering it
runs about the room
in skittering little patterns
around the edge
that woman chases it
never leaves it
I watch her struggle
float to the ceiling
drip blood onto the heads
of craning necks
and tourists
there's a severed limb
in the hallway
it makes a nice decoration
you can plant flowers
in the empty sockets
we got trapped here
when we tried to leave
violence pinned us down
like butterflies
on felt backgrounds
we are the edge
the living fear
and move as vapor
through these timeless scenes
unrelenting in our recollections
always fearful of what we knew
we have no end
we are the reflection
we have no way
even the greatest exorcist
can not clear us out
we are the denizens
of this house
and I know above all else
there is nothing better
on the other side

The Horror of Who I Am

I am the Green Eyed Devil
much too hard to love
with the tastiest meat
that you vomit up
after eating too much
you're fumbling with the lock
trying to get out
before I can wake up
those Green Eyes are a trap
that look
that gentleness
you want to pluck those eyes out
you ate enough last night
can't stand that devilish love
you ain't coming back
not again
looking back up the stairs
you see my Green Eyes
following you
drowned in emotion
tears trembling on eyelashes
you'll be back
when you're drunk
and high
and horny
and need those warm tits
to slip in between

I am the Green Eyed Devil
imprisoned in the ice
six wings
six mouths
frozen right here
in my rage
every feeling
stays with me forever
I fell
but not so far
as the floor
it held me up
cracked under my weight
ugly girl
crack your head
against the pavement
jumped a little too far
too handsome
to be trusted
they come for me
one by one
their dicks in their hands
their hearts in their throats
save us
heal us
please us
go away
go away
away
Green Eyed Devil
go away
we never wanted you anyways

Suicide Love Note

Who would want me?
I don't even want me.
I'm just waving from the pond
ducking under the water
with stones in my pockets
little drips of cyanide
leaving acid punches
to the inside of my cheeks
deep in love
with the hole
in the backyard
I dug it last year
keep the dog far hence
lest he dig it up again
I planted bone trees
in the bone yards
bleached by the sun
worn by the weather
I'm leaking love
spitting out charm
choking on need
trying to fuck my way
to forgiveness
and failing
and flailing
and tumbling
down the steps
of your indifference
fucking those pretty whores
in their pretty faces
I don't wanna
know anything anymore
why do I have to put up
with your guilt?
I did nothing
to deserve it
and I lack it entirely
I've got a note for you
I wrote it on my flesh
in the form of black eyes
and fucked up
reasonable decisions
Love is the lie they tell
to you
when they want
your legs to open up
and your cunt to spill out
I fucked the world
looking for you
and you would rather
kill your heart
than let me know you
I found the reason to die
and it was in your eyes
the whole fucking time

The Poisoned Summer

what is this that clings to me
clear and sticky
honeyed poison
for honeyed eyes
face nestled in my breasts
sweat beading across my skin
the summer is my poison
so pretty
your hair in your face
you poison me with your fingertips
you desire me
until better things come along
I am the burden
put me out to graze
beastly to look at
crazy to feel
locked away inside my own brain
begging for love
begging for soap to copy the keys
food is poisoned
but I am not sure which plates are safe
I am fumbling
with my own skin
tripping down
off of high horse
and glass buildings
I see myself
in every reflection
unsure of what side of the glass I am on
unsure of what side of your eyes I am on
the arrows embedded in my side
are poison tipped
and growing over
in rough red scars
shove your fingers in the holes
feel for bits of steel left behind
by your hardened words
your forgetfulness
that I was here
waiting for you to find me
waiting
for the poison
to take me down to my knees
I have nothing to give you
no poison left on my lips
no kiss dying under my eyes
I gave you all the pieces of my heart
to glue back together
you swept them under the rug
placed them in a box under your bed
you'll find that box full of dead rats
the next time you look
as each glistening jewelled fragment
was poisoned long before
you got here
and I died under the weight
a thousand fists ago

Noxious Fairytales

the Queen is up on her decrepit throne
in all her terribleness
her kingdom is a mess
and she's started to name the flies
keeping them as pets

there is a lot she will tolerate
if her lover is beautiful
he'll tell her how awful she is
he'll drown her in the toilet
and pace back and forth on the rotting veranda
cursing her under his breath

her castle is falling apart
holes are forming in the moth eaten drapes
bricks are crumpling
and threatening to fall on hapless visitors' heads
the bridge has collapsed
and one must step over marshy swamp lands
to enter her ragged gateway

she stays in her tower
he tosses roses with the flowers stripped off
and only the thorny stems left
at her feet
she walks over them and does not notice
blood, spit, semen, tears
it's all the same to her
he screams at her
"Why don't you cry?!"

she has seen her cracking face
in the lines of the warped mirror
she has seen the overgrown
gardens taking back the land
she has seen the mice
scurrying to their nests
and the bee's making their homes
in the wombs of lost caves

Paradise is fading
and she has fed all up on its tasteless milk
fetid rot has a much more attractive odor
swallowing up the senses
in a sinking embrace
the jungle breathes
humps over silently and waits
she can feel her legs turning to mud
leaving her sludgy footprints about the floorboards
he splashes soapy water
angrily around the throne room
but the rotting jungle has other ideas
and creeps up the castle walls
in long stretching vines
searching for that terrible Queen it calls home

she is the mother to what those pretty lovers chose to waste
she is the filth they built their gleaming kingdoms on
down here she knows the truth
that all the world
was born from ooze
with that soft underbelly exposed
and no matter how hard you scrub
one day we will all return
to that sludge
and rot away for the next generation
to build their perfect homes upon

Martyr of the Ugly

you have your fast women
and faster drugs
your parties on the moon
pretty crazy whores
with their mouths salivating
for your cock
you have your wandering eyes
your lost fingers
your brainwashing glances
and quick voice
that treacherous beauty
that unstoppable melancholy
that sits just right
on your brow
you have that glowing crown
that glowing heart
just begging them down on
their knees
you have them all fooled
and they scrape
their bellies and full breasts on the ground
to find your Jesus feet
and anoint your toes in oil
with their long flowing hair

I have only alcohol
and the burning bitterness
it trails down my throat
I have endless nights
cursing the dawn
when the curtains lighten
I have stupid words
useless facts
all stored up in my
functionless brain
I have my outcast status
tattooed on my skin
I have devils' horny outcroppings
where my halo
failed to grow
I have an ugly smile
sickeningly green eyes
and the threat of
heroic nothingness
set under my tongue

I tossed the oil over the cliff
I shorn off my hair
I vomited up an ocean
of black vile
from the depths
of my violent soul
I brought down the moon
I ate the perfect hearts
of a thousand whores
I rotted in my own caves
and made suits
of their skin

I crawl for nothing
and I will make you uncomfortable
make you writhe
and cry out
from under your Jesus cross
I can't ever be right
but I can be
godlike
in my wrongness
and make all who love me
hide from
my terrible face
and wretchedly sharp teeth
and curse the day
they met me

Call Me The Beast

unrelenting happiness
makes me want to choke you
on your own teeth

the gash is me
the blood is awash
in a sea of blackness
filling up my vile soul

I am the villian
in my own story
the monster
in your head
and under your bed

I am the ankle grabber
snake of split tongue
self-styled wretch
with rancoured eyes

the hated
and the devoured

I've come for dinner
set up in your chest
I break the strings of your heart
with my teeth
flesh drips from my jaws
in long lurid strips
I am a parade
of dead things
and I taste of rot

they raised me ugly
cold
up above their heads
they made me
fed me
and set me on the world

I bite the fingers that feed me
I revel in my ugliness
I sit on my throne
of oozing thorns
with bits of my lovers
waving like flags

lulling tongue
cunt lined with teeth
I dance on severed heads
and pick the great bones
of battle yards

I am sickness
burrowed  down whole
I am the rage
that consumed the world
I skitter up the side of your head
and pluck out your eyeballs
I love nothing
and eat those foolish enough
to get so fearfully close

it is at the guarding of thy death that I am
and I shall be
never call my name
and never open thy eyes to see

I Lost My Page

I feel pressed
flattened
like flowers between
the pages
of a heavy book
on your dusty shelf

you press me down
perserve me
your weight on top of me
smoothing me out
holding me here
as I try to float
out the door

you collapse on me
you feel me worming
squirming
pushing to that grey edge
pushing myself nearly over
twisted like leaves
caught in an updraft

you flatten my world
your eyes
pin me to these pages
to these sheets
my fluids on your fingers
I am drying up
my soul blows no more

I am pinned
our hair twisted
I buried my heart
beside my wounded knees
you watched on
and hated me

I won't stop loving you
even when you toss the book out
when you tear up the petals
when you spit my name out in a curse
I will love you
and flatten myself agianst the wall
to hide nameless evermore

You Go In Pieces

"I brought you a peace offering."
you say with too-much teeth grin
I want no more pieces of you!
I've had quite enough I think
I'm full up to the brim
with your dirty fucking pieces
all the little dusty chunks of yourself
you left around my apartment
I keep tripping on them
choking on them in my sleep
stumbling over them in the dark
on the way to the bathroom
when I get up to go take a shit
stubbing my toes against them
and hopping the rest of the way
expletives waking up the neighbors
 rattling  their ears
I want to toss up all those pieces of you
I had to swallow back down
when you looked at me funny
when you made a crack
about my lack of housekeeping skills
now it's pieces of you strewn about the fucking place
so untidy 
come get them
I don't want them anymore
I'll give you some plastic bags to wrap them in
to keep them from escaping back into my bed
I'll get the dust pan and the broom
you can keep all the cracked little bits
I've had enough to last me a life time
I'm all full up
I don't need them anymore
you keep those little pieces you keep offering me
I ain't got no more room for anyone else's regrets
but my fucking own

Collections of Terrible Things

the best advice I ever got?
don't do drugs before a job interview

or maybe it was
brush your teeth after giving a blow job

or don't put bras in the dryer

I can't remember

what I do know is
all of this sucks
and my pussy gets wet
when I think of you

but I can't muster the forward momentum
to even bother getting out of bed
most mornings

and I sleep through beautiful
spring days
and wake up when the sun is setting
by the ocean
blinking it's big yellow eye at me
and my ennui

you punch yourself in the face
I swallow some pills
and a couple of drinks
and feel nothing

holy fuck
how do I feel this much
... nothing?

Nothing
not a thing
it's all just...

whatever

hey how about this?
how about we be terrible together?
we could be great in our awfulness
curl up in a little ball under the covers
and pretend the world wasn't out there
we could touch each other
be inside each other
taste each other
whisper little secrets to each other
lov... 
wait...
never-mind

even my masturbation is lazy
I drink beer in the shower
but neglect to wash my hair for days
it hangs about my face in lank strips
as I trip over the vacuum cleaner I left
in the middle of the floor

I had this inclination for a few minutes
that I would clean my life up
but instead the sucking reminded me
of the endless chasm of my life
and I collapsed exhausted on the couch
the floor only half cleaned

or maybe it reminded me of blow jobs

I can't remember which

...whatever