Dinner Time with the Devil

those Devils show me who they love
through a forest of sharp teeth
grinning all hungry
straight at me
lip lickers them all

they tell their friends
'that bitch poet
down the road
she never told us anything
worth hearing'

'that bitch poet
had big tits
and one too many questions
we had to eat her up
and leave her wanting more'

this bitch poet
knows just what those Devils
are saying
their harsh whispers
carry on the stale night air

hush hush you fuckers
I hate the daylight
and curse the sun every morning
when those Devils
settle into their beds with their new lovers

this bitch poet
has opened her mouth
and let a crucible
of carrion
fall at their feet in the name of fun

this bitch poet
stayed up all night
lamenting big trucks
barreling down the alleyway
when the drugs had worn off

this bitch poet
this Wicked Witch of East Van
this worst kind of heaven
this ghost with green eyes
this mountain of a woman

she knows just how to cut
right under the ribs
straight in a shower of blood
and nightly dreams
of just the best way to kill them

this bitch
pulled the moon down for you
and choked you on it
rammed it down your throat
dancing to the gurgling

this bitch
is a tower to that dark Goddess
and hates you
you Devil you
with all her little black heart

and she hopes you die tonight
before that warrior sun
kills all her dreams
because this bitch poet down the road
just wants to go to bed

and forget any of this ever happened

Blister

I have been picking at my skin
digging with my dirty nails
down through layers
of meat
somewhere underneath there
the itch
is growing
inch by inch
and I can't get there
fast enough

you are a blister
pus filled
and oozing
I see
that green blood streaked
fluid
sloshing behind your eyes
I want to cut you open
and watch your juices run out

you have infected me
with all your vile
slimy
swamp toad ways
warts and all

if I kiss you
I won't get a prince
I'll get a mouthful
of sick
and ulcerated tissue
you are the acid kiss
that eats away at my gums
and breaks my teeth

 I've been digging away
at my skin for years now
ripping the scabs off
poking at the sore spots
watching the bruises bloom
deepest purple black
and still all I taste
is acid

you are a blister
more putrid than pure
and where your flaking skin falls
fungus grows
to mark the spot
where your soul
started to fester

your fetid love
is a boil
on my ass
and when I sit upon it
I can feel
all the pain you wished upon me
and still I find myself
gagging on
your ever searching
swamp water tongue
and I beg for more

Hoof

war spit
curly haired motherfucker
came down here
to tell me
what was what

and then fell in love
with his best friend

I stomped
snorted
growled
turned my head
and groaned

hey now come on
smoke skin
I saw you coming
right up over that ridge
on the train bridge
in the middle of the night

'Can I come home with you?'
you're so fucking pretty
you think I haven't seen
those same mountians
I was born here
straight from the boulders
in the valley

we climbed them
stomping
the herd
clicking
their heels
down the road

and when that horse 
died on the fence
we saved her skull
and the old farmer
more practical than us  
said she had many foals

our wars were over a hundred years ago
those hooves still echo
over long buried battlefields
ghosts still wander this land
from a far flung tradition
to yours

stagger 
too much liquor
and even quicker
tried to bite me  
and that old dusty
toppled down
church
reared up in my head
and the thorny wild roses
made a canopy
of green and pink
and I only ever saw you after dark
when our worlds
attempted with rather futile measures
to blend
and failed

and in this old land
with new people
in this broken down
cracked right up
leaking and seeping
body
I heard them running
hoof to packed dirt
and let you go
over that rocky cliff face
in spirit
more Devil
than I was ever any kind of good   

    

The Amazing Disposable Woman

I sit up in my kingdom of sickness
day after day
and look out over the alley way
that leads to somewhere else

I sit here and old conversations
drift through my head
I rarely speak
and when I do my voice cracks

Old promises broken
with the intention of never being kept
nocturnal admissions
never meant to be heard
quiet murmuring echoing
in the chambers of my bedroom
fingers still brushing my skin
shifting over my body
little smiles
and tears clinging to long eyelashes

He said I was too much
took up that doorway
like a storm
emotions rolling off me
like a drowning wave
still naked
still standing there
Jesus was not meant for anything better

He told me he felt like a sexual superhero
like a dark hipster poet god
all the girls loved
when I looked at him that way
I made him feel strength
as he brushed his fingers
over the knife wounds on his chest
and remembered my lips upon him

He whispered how he imagined me
slipping down a road in some tropical country
with hyacinths in my hair
marveled as I walked barefoot
through city streets
danced me to the end of the night
careful to avoid my crystalline ways

He kissed me under a street light
kept his hands on my wide hips
no matter where I went
we woke the neighbors
told me beauty like mine
was hard to swallow
and refused to sleep at my side

He extolled the virtue
of my green eyes
seemingly hypnotized by their wavering colour
like a drowning whirlpool
hiding in some green still lake
told me I was out to pull him under
just the same
cried in  my arms
and asked me to not hate him

how can I not hate
when love has led me to
the most vile
regions of my heart?
how can I not pledge myself
to this emptiness
when emotions
are the poison
my clouded mind
seeks to swallow?
how do I live
in the shadow of another
when he sees my body
as a home
and refuses to see
the cracks in the foundation?
how can I be beautiful
when they spit out my name
and wash me
from their throats?

in here
with no prying eyes
i am perfectly flawed
and my halo
is carefully stowed away
i am Queen
to the dust
and Empress of pain
they will call me wicked
in the fires of falsified love
carry the scars I left on their skin
remember the quickness of my licking tongue
the softness of my thighs

but I will
still be
undone
and never
beautiful
with my wild black hair
and my treacherous green eyes
my villainous snow white skin
and my deceptive softness

my empire is built of trash
and i will
throw myself away
before you ever
get the chance

Apocalypse Right Now

I sat in quiet contemplation
of the futility of human existance
our great weapons
pointed right down our throats
a brand new way
to kill ourselves

when I moved to the city
I lost the stars
so I couldn't watch dead light
invade my eyes
I had to meditate to
dull grey walls
and rain beating down
on broken sidewalks

sometimes,
just sometimes,
cities empty out
all the people leave
the windows are boarded up
the buildings crumble
a church of pointlessness
a shrine to vanity

no stars shine
up from under those broken skulls
empty eyes
walk the road to Hell
holding hands
shaking in the face
of an Angry god
called Pointlessness

clasp your hands
try to convince me that this is better
that you have the fucking answers
just under your fucking tongue
you are just as desolate
but somehow you convinced yourself
that you were still alive

I want you to know
I saw how you die
I saw just how fucking stupid you are
tin men all lined up
under the great firing sky
burning in the name of peace
I saw how you die
and licked my lips
at the thought of it

in sickness
I know the answers
closer in pain
to the reality
of our ineffectiveness
sold to the raw deal
convinced of their importace
but we are a gutter
for all things in us perish
God lives and he hates you
the world coughs up black clouds
and chews us down
with blood red teeth

and will be reborn
without us
to get in the way

That Dark Planet

your mouth dripped lies
as thick as syrup
your eyes contained
a violent man
with dark convictions
your fingers raked through your hair
and you swore
you'd never see me again

from down in this grave
dug in the clay
of your homeland
I can see stars
ripping the darkness apart
but your heart remains
unchanged
distant as those spinning planets

I kissed your lips
even as they bled
into my mouth
I set your teeth all straight
I held down your eyelids
when you couldn't bare the sight
and met your body
pinned against the mattress

You, raggedy man, had your strings cut
and I held you up
payed for your sins
with mine own sinew and flesh
I made friends with the monsters under your bed
and listened to your clicking tongue
tear me down

yes, from down in this grave
I can see the stars
I can see the black holes
that were your eyes
I can see galaxies collapsing
and novas exploding
your heart is as far
as those distant stars
but back on Earth
I've become the ground
that shifts under your feet
and opens up to swallow you whole

It Could Have Been Me

it could have been me
with lips pressed down on my neck
gasping in the background
hurling through space
like a rocket rabbit
right up the side of the world

it could have been me
but you didn't like how
I tasted and basted
all full of vanilla ice cream
and chocolate covered gummy bears

it could have been me
on the side of the road that
night with headlights
flashing past me
like sharks circling
chunks of bloody chum
in ugly waters

it could have been me
but I hated the feel of timid
admissions of guilt
and beguiling beginnings
all wrapped up in cellophane
looking away

it could have been me
but I was actually
searching for a way out
scratching at the door
prying up the tiles
picking at the edge of the carpet
looking for the escape hatch

it could have been me
but I don't actually
like late shift
coffee shops
or jazz music holes
tapped into false beatnik
skin windows

it could have been you
but I thought too often
about smashing the bridge
of your nose into dust
with my hammer fists
and I never liked
the way you looked at me

so it wasn't me
and we never did
but I do know what
the stars look like
on the otherside of the moon
and what you look like
when you are crying unattractive tears

God, I'm Hungry

I have a secret drawer
I keep my lovers there
I hide them under my father's obituary
and one of the few medals
I ever won
You never gave me a letter
and I had to steal a photo
so I have little to keep
and fewer places to remember them
stuck between the pages of some volume
I hid my hunger
the petals of a different love
and I forgot about them
someday in the mountians of books
that fill my bookcases
I will stumble across it again
and remember something
feel something
trace those pressed edges
and peel up the corners
my underneath
never really forgets
I move on
but I am not the kind
to ever really let go
it's always under there
somewhere
maybe stuck to the underside of the desk
weighed down by old trinkets
but I never really
let my love for you go
I am as dusty
as a dust jacket
crinkled like ancient paper
I pressed myself in those pages long ago
between those covers
petrified like old cookies
warm as chocolate tea
that's where I keep my secret hunger
folded and bent
under a thousand feet
of broken heart pieces
with the curse
of a good memory
and the prying apart
of tenderest lips

The Monster In My Head

you come creeping
and seeping
and peeling back
my layers

nephilim
too sad to be
beautiful
too beautiful
to be mine

it tells me
I am worth nothing
I am not
lovable

but detesting
is my domain
and I dwell here
buried

I am burned
by unwant
quicker than
any acid

I am scorched
by need
faster than
any poison

I am crippled
slung under the
weight
of a thousand
dirty hearts

reality
is a dark crutch
and I have found
lofty ideas
often strip
us down

the morning star
guides me
to my drowned
self

I am the sliver
buried in
your sex

I am worth
nothing
so much
as your hate
your indifference
your avoidance

this is a
place I have been before
I locked the doors
tossed the furniture
out the window
sat on the bare floor
and ripped myself
open

guts all over the
walls
a beating heart
still in my hand
ethereal
glowing
unreal

this land
so unreal

cast me out
demon
cast me down
hate me
spit me out
vomit me up
rip me apart

I am the eye
and I see you
the Scorpio moon
bound us
I burnt the hair
and found us
there

cast me out
I am your demon
in love for
eternity
and buried
under a hundred feet
of solid rock

I will never be right
and can only lust
like monsters do

The Horror of Who I Am

I am the Green Eyed Devil
much too hard to love
with the tastiest meat
that you vomit up
after eating too much
you're fumbling with the lock
trying to get out
before I can wake up
those Green Eyes are a trap
that look
that gentleness
you want to pluck those eyes out
you ate enough last night
can't stand that devilish love
you ain't coming back
not again
looking back up the stairs
you see my Green Eyes
following you
drowned in emotion
tears trembling on eyelashes
you'll be back
when you're drunk
and high
and horny
and need those warm tits
to slip in between

I am the Green Eyed Devil
imprisoned in the ice
six wings
six mouths
frozen right here
in my rage
every feeling
stays with me forever
I fell
but not so far
as the floor
it held me up
cracked under my weight
ugly girl
crack your head
against the pavement
jumped a little too far
too handsome
to be trusted
they come for me
one by one
their dicks in their hands
their hearts in their throats
save us
heal us
please us
go away
go away
away
Green Eyed Devil
go away
we never wanted you anyways

yeux vers

"I just don't feel right,
unless I see my lover every night"

garnet lipped dips
beyond the hem of the skirt
the flirt
sliding up against you
green eyes fading into the dark
where is her spark?

she screams in the deepness
pants at the edge of the bed
she's so wrong
and will never be right

but your fingers sink into her skin
your tongue finding her mouth so sweet
and the heat
from her
burns
and turns
ecstasy traveling up your limbs

and she fights
against you
for you
to be near you

slips into the night
breathless
reeling on the edge of the dance floor
her eyes ever searching for you
trying to find you in the smoke
green eyes following you down the stairs
and to the back room

you hate her
pretty but wrong
wrong shape
wrong thoughts
wrong balance
wrong dreams
wrong place
wrong time

she comes back
sweet green eyes and stolen kiss
anger and hurt
simmering just underneath them
every night you can feel her thinking about you
loving you
crying for you
under the weight of a thousand bad dreams

and you won't come
you'll feel right
in flight
and find that better lay
proper
balanced
obedient
a better day
and you'll feel just right

she's the burden you long to leave
and never can
green eyes heave
and bury themselves without you ever noticing

Suicide Love Note

Who would want me?
I don't even want me.
I'm just waving from the pond
ducking under the water
with stones in my pockets
little drips of cyanide
leaving acid punches
to the inside of my cheeks
deep in love
with the hole
in the backyard
I dug it last year
keep the dog far hence
lest he dig it up again
I planted bone trees
in the bone yards
bleached by the sun
worn by the weather
I'm leaking love
spitting out charm
choking on need
trying to fuck my way
to forgiveness
and failing
and flailing
and tumbling
down the steps
of your indifference
fucking those pretty whores
in their pretty faces
I don't wanna
know anything anymore
why do I have to put up
with your guilt?
I did nothing
to deserve it
and I lack it entirely
I've got a note for you
I wrote it on my flesh
in the form of black eyes
and fucked up
reasonable decisions
Love is the lie they tell
to you
when they want
your legs to open up
and your cunt to spill out
I fucked the world
looking for you
and you would rather
kill your heart
than let me know you
I found the reason to die
and it was in your eyes
the whole fucking time

The Curse of the Placeholder

"just something better
a tether
cleaner weather
less of your fucked up leather


no more cat fur up my nose
or writhing against your rose
trying to get you somewhere
 you seem to be unable to get

I'm falling asleep
and my hand is sore
you have your uses
but you are a bore

no more, no more
I seek perfection
an erection
that never dies

that girl with diamond eyes
obedient
who never cries
never flies

you witchy thing
should burn on your own pyre
too tired, too very tired
to want to deal with you tonight

and I take flight
and all is right"

 he spat the words
out at me
venom dripping
down his lips

I took a big sip
of that poison
tongue tip
and longed for oblivion
on the face of the sun

Burn me
I am the Curse
I'll make love to smoke
and be one with ash

and watch you search for that better piece of ass

The Poisoned Summer

what is this that clings to me
clear and sticky
honeyed poison
for honeyed eyes
face nestled in my breasts
sweat beading across my skin
the summer is my poison
so pretty
your hair in your face
you poison me with your fingertips
you desire me
until better things come along
I am the burden
put me out to graze
beastly to look at
crazy to feel
locked away inside my own brain
begging for love
begging for soap to copy the keys
food is poisoned
but I am not sure which plates are safe
I am fumbling
with my own skin
tripping down
off of high horse
and glass buildings
I see myself
in every reflection
unsure of what side of the glass I am on
unsure of what side of your eyes I am on
the arrows embedded in my side
are poison tipped
and growing over
in rough red scars
shove your fingers in the holes
feel for bits of steel left behind
by your hardened words
your forgetfulness
that I was here
waiting for you to find me
waiting
for the poison
to take me down to my knees
I have nothing to give you
no poison left on my lips
no kiss dying under my eyes
I gave you all the pieces of my heart
to glue back together
you swept them under the rug
placed them in a box under your bed
you'll find that box full of dead rats
the next time you look
as each glistening jewelled fragment
was poisoned long before
you got here
and I died under the weight
a thousand fists ago

The Cliffs at Devil's Head

I can see the lie
glistening on the edge
of your lips
you are about to let it
drip down on my head
three little words
to see if you can work
your fingers
into my demonic underwear

your tongue forces it
past my teeth
searches for the back
of my throat
testing if I have any
gag reflex left
caressing my chin
lacing your fingers
in my hair
to pull my head back

your mouth
travels lower
and slower
tongue on tightening nipple
hands clenched
into white mounds of flesh
I feel the lie
seep into my skin
and wish only for
love and sex

I am the shore
you wreck your ship upon
the beach you storm
the castle walls your breach
the fire you douse
the tree you pull down
the door you kick open
and the legs your pry apart

I've got the Devil whispering in my ear
offering me little peices of candy
on long tethers
dangling over cliffs
I pluck at your chest
like strings on a cello
trying to pull at your heart
I hold you to me
fearful of what you will say
I tip over the edge
and feel the air
rush past my ears

if you let me go
I will fall
and never stop
but falling never bothered me
it's only those sudden stops
at the end
that worry me so

Noxious Fairytales

the Queen is up on her decrepit throne
in all her terribleness
her kingdom is a mess
and she's started to name the flies
keeping them as pets

there is a lot she will tolerate
if her lover is beautiful
he'll tell her how awful she is
he'll drown her in the toilet
and pace back and forth on the rotting veranda
cursing her under his breath

her castle is falling apart
holes are forming in the moth eaten drapes
bricks are crumpling
and threatening to fall on hapless visitors' heads
the bridge has collapsed
and one must step over marshy swamp lands
to enter her ragged gateway

she stays in her tower
he tosses roses with the flowers stripped off
and only the thorny stems left
at her feet
she walks over them and does not notice
blood, spit, semen, tears
it's all the same to her
he screams at her
"Why don't you cry?!"

she has seen her cracking face
in the lines of the warped mirror
she has seen the overgrown
gardens taking back the land
she has seen the mice
scurrying to their nests
and the bee's making their homes
in the wombs of lost caves

Paradise is fading
and she has fed all up on its tasteless milk
fetid rot has a much more attractive odor
swallowing up the senses
in a sinking embrace
the jungle breathes
humps over silently and waits
she can feel her legs turning to mud
leaving her sludgy footprints about the floorboards
he splashes soapy water
angrily around the throne room
but the rotting jungle has other ideas
and creeps up the castle walls
in long stretching vines
searching for that terrible Queen it calls home

she is the mother to what those pretty lovers chose to waste
she is the filth they built their gleaming kingdoms on
down here she knows the truth
that all the world
was born from ooze
with that soft underbelly exposed
and no matter how hard you scrub
one day we will all return
to that sludge
and rot away for the next generation
to build their perfect homes upon

Martyr of the Ugly

you have your fast women
and faster drugs
your parties on the moon
pretty crazy whores
with their mouths salivating
for your cock
you have your wandering eyes
your lost fingers
your brainwashing glances
and quick voice
that treacherous beauty
that unstoppable melancholy
that sits just right
on your brow
you have that glowing crown
that glowing heart
just begging them down on
their knees
you have them all fooled
and they scrape
their bellies and full breasts on the ground
to find your Jesus feet
and anoint your toes in oil
with their long flowing hair

I have only alcohol
and the burning bitterness
it trails down my throat
I have endless nights
cursing the dawn
when the curtains lighten
I have stupid words
useless facts
all stored up in my
functionless brain
I have my outcast status
tattooed on my skin
I have devils' horny outcroppings
where my halo
failed to grow
I have an ugly smile
sickeningly green eyes
and the threat of
heroic nothingness
set under my tongue

I tossed the oil over the cliff
I shorn off my hair
I vomited up an ocean
of black vile
from the depths
of my violent soul
I brought down the moon
I ate the perfect hearts
of a thousand whores
I rotted in my own caves
and made suits
of their skin

I crawl for nothing
and I will make you uncomfortable
make you writhe
and cry out
from under your Jesus cross
I can't ever be right
but I can be
godlike
in my wrongness
and make all who love me
hide from
my terrible face
and wretchedly sharp teeth
and curse the day
they met me