Tiamat

it's just so hard to need you
when this Velvet Darkness
drapes it's ever loving arms
around me

this primordial chaos
I wear like a cloak
all stars for eyes
and the bodies of dead lovers
my crown

I walk the line
between smoke
from the fire you started
to the burning feeling
in the back of your throat

I am tempted daily
to let this malice
taking over my hands
clench in admiration
or violence

this is a celestial recrimination
yes I am talking down to you
and in dragon scales
and dragon breath
I huff and I puff
and I blow your house on down

the wreck
the devastation
peeled back to watch
the skin wrinkle
and ignite
signal fire to the milky way

you talk like someone
who has never been
smashed in the mouth
but I have your remedy
big as all days
twice as hard as carbon
twice as evil as love

hell, I burn the scenery
just to watch you melt
into that puddle
of unnerving need
small squeaks placating my toes
splish splash
dripping fucking need

Dragon Goddess
right here in this moment
so close
you can feel her
hot gasps on your neck

all scales
are a measure
in green iridescence
of the worth of the man
and my right over your nature

your are the snake
I am the Dragon
at war with judgement
hot and shifting
cliff to those who jump
sharp teeth to those who swallow

liar, it's so hard to need you
when I am not a saint
but the crater in the back
of your skull
take this moment
unneeded
but so fucking needy

inhale

it's too hard to need you

exhale

fire

ignite

all Velvet

and fire

and curling downward forever
shifts
and breaks all the Earth
from under your trembling feet

Bone Picker

splintered in you need

I have the remedy

I keep it under my knuckles

With my dragon scales

And eat lonely boys like foul candy

And burn 

When I just can't need you anymore

And it's just too hard to forget

The Amazing Disposable Woman

I sit up in my kingdom of sickness
day after day
and look out over the alley way
that leads to somewhere else

I sit here and old conversations
drift through my head
I rarely speak
and when I do my voice cracks

Old promises broken
with the intention of never being kept
nocturnal admissions
never meant to be heard
quiet murmuring echoing
in the chambers of my bedroom
fingers still brushing my skin
shifting over my body
little smiles
and tears clinging to long eyelashes

He said I was too much
took up that doorway
like a storm
emotions rolling off me
like a drowning wave
still naked
still standing there
Jesus was not meant for anything better

He told me he felt like a sexual superhero
like a dark hipster poet god
all the girls loved
when I looked at him that way
I made him feel strength
as he brushed his fingers
over the knife wounds on his chest
and remembered my lips upon him

He whispered how he imagined me
slipping down a road in some tropical country
with hyacinths in my hair
marveled as I walked barefoot
through city streets
danced me to the end of the night
careful to avoid my crystalline ways

He kissed me under a street light
kept his hands on my wide hips
no matter where I went
we woke the neighbors
told me beauty like mine
was hard to swallow
and refused to sleep at my side

He extolled the virtue
of my green eyes
seemingly hypnotized by their wavering colour
like a drowning whirlpool
hiding in some green still lake
told me I was out to pull him under
just the same
cried in  my arms
and asked me to not hate him

how can I not hate
when love has led me to
the most vile
regions of my heart?
how can I not pledge myself
to this emptiness
when emotions
are the poison
my clouded mind
seeks to swallow?
how do I live
in the shadow of another
when he sees my body
as a home
and refuses to see
the cracks in the foundation?
how can I be beautiful
when they spit out my name
and wash me
from their throats?

in here
with no prying eyes
i am perfectly flawed
and my halo
is carefully stowed away
i am Queen
to the dust
and Empress of pain
they will call me wicked
in the fires of falsified love
carry the scars I left on their skin
remember the quickness of my licking tongue
the softness of my thighs

but I will
still be
undone
and never
beautiful
with my wild black hair
and my treacherous green eyes
my villainous snow white skin
and my deceptive softness

my empire is built of trash
and i will
throw myself away
before you ever
get the chance

Leanan Sidhe

you never saw that Hell coming up behind you
all smiles and pretty eyes
she wiggled right on over to you
black magic kiss
on the side of your cheek

you were waiting for those same red lips
to wrap themselves around your cock
her eyes looking up at you
your hand tangled in her hair

you never saw what she held behind her back
never saw how she looked at you
how she watched you when you slept
never got a fucking clue
too lost in her tongue and those red, red lips

too deep
to get yourself out
you mistook that fire for passion
you couldn't taste the poison
clinging to her words
couldn't fucking take your mind
off of her perfect tits

all you could feel was yourself
sinking into her wet center
her slipping around you
so warm and tight
like some sort of black hole heaven

you never saw the hate in her heart
never saw the gun under the bed
never knew that violence
could come in such as pretty package
"oh, pretty girl,
open your mouth for me again"

you wonder now how the walls go so red
was her lipstick smeared on your eyeballs?
was that the bathroom sink dripping
or your heart?
why is it so sticky in here?
when did her skin get so cold?
when did those horns sprout from her head?

Hell is so very pretty
and has such beautiful green eyes
why are those green eyes taking up the whole world?
Hell has the nicest mouth
the most touchable ass
such delectable hips
and the most perfect tits to slide between

When she came
the Devil stood up and took notice
and when Hell followed with her
you turned to ash and cinders
beneath her perilous hands
and had to bite your tongue
to keep from screaming

Black Dog

you brought in a spark with you
and burnt the fucking room down

you found me
with pieces of meat
hanging from my teeth

you found me
licking away
at old wounds

you found me
all teeth
and yellow eyes

you burnt the fucking room down
to keep me out

you once would have
followed my round ass
all the way to Hell

but look at the trouble
we are in now

I'll bristle when you touch me
I'll howl when hunt me
I'll smile all too much teeth

so much better to eat you with

my eyes may be closed
but I never ever sleep

I licked your hand like an adoring pet
you liked that
and smiled down at me

but I have seen the gates of Hell
where I loved demons
with many heads and grotesque limbs

I have scoured
the earth and the heavens
for tasty morsels of fleshy lovers

I have shoved my head
under the hand of God
and purred dangerously in his lap

Never trust that I am not hungry for you

Do not lay your hand upon my head
with the assumption
that I will not bite you

Do not mistake my growling for affection

Do not turn your back on me

For I never worry
about biting the hand that feeds me
especially when I am oh so hungry

It Could Have Been Me

it could have been me
with lips pressed down on my neck
gasping in the background
hurling through space
like a rocket rabbit
right up the side of the world

it could have been me
but you didn't like how
I tasted and basted
all full of vanilla ice cream
and chocolate covered gummy bears

it could have been me
on the side of the road that
night with headlights
flashing past me
like sharks circling
chunks of bloody chum
in ugly waters

it could have been me
but I hated the feel of timid
admissions of guilt
and beguiling beginnings
all wrapped up in cellophane
looking away

it could have been me
but I was actually
searching for a way out
scratching at the door
prying up the tiles
picking at the edge of the carpet
looking for the escape hatch

it could have been me
but I don't actually
like late shift
coffee shops
or jazz music holes
tapped into false beatnik
skin windows

it could have been you
but I thought too often
about smashing the bridge
of your nose into dust
with my hammer fists
and I never liked
the way you looked at me

so it wasn't me
and we never did
but I do know what
the stars look like
on the otherside of the moon
and what you look like
when you are crying unattractive tears

The Horror of Who I Am

I am the Green Eyed Devil
much too hard to love
with the tastiest meat
that you vomit up
after eating too much
you're fumbling with the lock
trying to get out
before I can wake up
those Green Eyes are a trap
that look
that gentleness
you want to pluck those eyes out
you ate enough last night
can't stand that devilish love
you ain't coming back
not again
looking back up the stairs
you see my Green Eyes
following you
drowned in emotion
tears trembling on eyelashes
you'll be back
when you're drunk
and high
and horny
and need those warm tits
to slip in between

I am the Green Eyed Devil
imprisoned in the ice
six wings
six mouths
frozen right here
in my rage
every feeling
stays with me forever
I fell
but not so far
as the floor
it held me up
cracked under my weight
ugly girl
crack your head
against the pavement
jumped a little too far
too handsome
to be trusted
they come for me
one by one
their dicks in their hands
their hearts in their throats
save us
heal us
please us
go away
go away
away
Green Eyed Devil
go away
we never wanted you anyways

yeux vers

"I just don't feel right,
unless I see my lover every night"

garnet lipped dips
beyond the hem of the skirt
the flirt
sliding up against you
green eyes fading into the dark
where is her spark?

she screams in the deepness
pants at the edge of the bed
she's so wrong
and will never be right

but your fingers sink into her skin
your tongue finding her mouth so sweet
and the heat
from her
burns
and turns
ecstasy traveling up your limbs

and she fights
against you
for you
to be near you

slips into the night
breathless
reeling on the edge of the dance floor
her eyes ever searching for you
trying to find you in the smoke
green eyes following you down the stairs
and to the back room

you hate her
pretty but wrong
wrong shape
wrong thoughts
wrong balance
wrong dreams
wrong place
wrong time

she comes back
sweet green eyes and stolen kiss
anger and hurt
simmering just underneath them
every night you can feel her thinking about you
loving you
crying for you
under the weight of a thousand bad dreams

and you won't come
you'll feel right
in flight
and find that better lay
proper
balanced
obedient
a better day
and you'll feel just right

she's the burden you long to leave
and never can
green eyes heave
and bury themselves without you ever noticing

Suicide Love Note

Who would want me?
I don't even want me.
I'm just waving from the pond
ducking under the water
with stones in my pockets
little drips of cyanide
leaving acid punches
to the inside of my cheeks
deep in love
with the hole
in the backyard
I dug it last year
keep the dog far hence
lest he dig it up again
I planted bone trees
in the bone yards
bleached by the sun
worn by the weather
I'm leaking love
spitting out charm
choking on need
trying to fuck my way
to forgiveness
and failing
and flailing
and tumbling
down the steps
of your indifference
fucking those pretty whores
in their pretty faces
I don't wanna
know anything anymore
why do I have to put up
with your guilt?
I did nothing
to deserve it
and I lack it entirely
I've got a note for you
I wrote it on my flesh
in the form of black eyes
and fucked up
reasonable decisions
Love is the lie they tell
to you
when they want
your legs to open up
and your cunt to spill out
I fucked the world
looking for you
and you would rather
kill your heart
than let me know you
I found the reason to die
and it was in your eyes
the whole fucking time

The Curse of the Placeholder

"just something better
a tether
cleaner weather
less of your fucked up leather


no more cat fur up my nose
or writhing against your rose
trying to get you somewhere
 you seem to be unable to get

I'm falling asleep
and my hand is sore
you have your uses
but you are a bore

no more, no more
I seek perfection
an erection
that never dies

that girl with diamond eyes
obedient
who never cries
never flies

you witchy thing
should burn on your own pyre
too tired, too very tired
to want to deal with you tonight

and I take flight
and all is right"

 he spat the words
out at me
venom dripping
down his lips

I took a big sip
of that poison
tongue tip
and longed for oblivion
on the face of the sun

Burn me
I am the Curse
I'll make love to smoke
and be one with ash

and watch you search for that better piece of ass

The Cliffs at Devil's Head

I can see the lie
glistening on the edge
of your lips
you are about to let it
drip down on my head
three little words
to see if you can work
your fingers
into my demonic underwear

your tongue forces it
past my teeth
searches for the back
of my throat
testing if I have any
gag reflex left
caressing my chin
lacing your fingers
in my hair
to pull my head back

your mouth
travels lower
and slower
tongue on tightening nipple
hands clenched
into white mounds of flesh
I feel the lie
seep into my skin
and wish only for
love and sex

I am the shore
you wreck your ship upon
the beach you storm
the castle walls your breach
the fire you douse
the tree you pull down
the door you kick open
and the legs your pry apart

I've got the Devil whispering in my ear
offering me little peices of candy
on long tethers
dangling over cliffs
I pluck at your chest
like strings on a cello
trying to pull at your heart
I hold you to me
fearful of what you will say
I tip over the edge
and feel the air
rush past my ears

if you let me go
I will fall
and never stop
but falling never bothered me
it's only those sudden stops
at the end
that worry me so

Martyr of the Ugly

you have your fast women
and faster drugs
your parties on the moon
pretty crazy whores
with their mouths salivating
for your cock
you have your wandering eyes
your lost fingers
your brainwashing glances
and quick voice
that treacherous beauty
that unstoppable melancholy
that sits just right
on your brow
you have that glowing crown
that glowing heart
just begging them down on
their knees
you have them all fooled
and they scrape
their bellies and full breasts on the ground
to find your Jesus feet
and anoint your toes in oil
with their long flowing hair

I have only alcohol
and the burning bitterness
it trails down my throat
I have endless nights
cursing the dawn
when the curtains lighten
I have stupid words
useless facts
all stored up in my
functionless brain
I have my outcast status
tattooed on my skin
I have devils' horny outcroppings
where my halo
failed to grow
I have an ugly smile
sickeningly green eyes
and the threat of
heroic nothingness
set under my tongue

I tossed the oil over the cliff
I shorn off my hair
I vomited up an ocean
of black vile
from the depths
of my violent soul
I brought down the moon
I ate the perfect hearts
of a thousand whores
I rotted in my own caves
and made suits
of their skin

I crawl for nothing
and I will make you uncomfortable
make you writhe
and cry out
from under your Jesus cross
I can't ever be right
but I can be
godlike
in my wrongness
and make all who love me
hide from
my terrible face
and wretchedly sharp teeth
and curse the day
they met me

It's Okay, I Know the Beast

I want you dark and dirty
frowning
deep with concentration
as you burrow into my eyes

I can't remember the colour
but I remember
your muscles sliding under your skin
I remember the Apache mounting the hill

traveling up the length of me
I want you slipping
losing your grip on my thighs
falling down river sides
drowning in cunt juice

I saw the cold creeping into you eyes
I thought I was a poet
I thought I could capture this in stupid flowery language
I fed you my song
the song I forgot the words too
and could only hum the tune

you climb those mountains with her hands
mine trapped right here in this bed
I want you between bloody sheets
bloody land between my legs
I have no ground
no ground to plant your feet in

the stars have abandoned me
the ocean spat me back out
young girls lay flowers at your feet
I have only thorns
pretty fat thorns lining my vaginal walls

swaying breasts
filling your mouth
milk of numb gods
with dumb mumbling glazed over eyes
I stumble on the stairs outside your door
and leave pieces of my knees
for you to step on in the morning

I am not beautiful
though I often wish I could be
that lake was as green as my eyes
I wanted to take you there
watch the dragonflies mate in the sunset
show you where the moss met the stream
where that black tail disappeared forever
stepping softly between worn rocks
and rainbow trout

I am too ugly
to bring home to your mother
too monstrous to admit to
rail car teeth
scrapyard smile
backwoods gait
stupid clicking tongue
pale lips
and broken fingernails

Too crooked to care
Too frail to stand
Too stupid to love

you've got better things to do
and I've got a pile of blankets to hide beneath
come find me
when you have no prettier skirts
to slip your hands under

Near Sighted Nebulas

how badly am I desolate
apocalyptic heart
in futile lands
searching for Apache Skin
he sees not
hears not
and waits for me
on the edge of my vision
I turn and he turns away
I came for skin
and some kind of love
but I tripped
on the rungs of reality
only on chemical waves
do I thrive
only on those days
when my eyes
roll all the way back
to the dawn of time
the dawn of nothing
alcoholic memoirs
crevice brain
those tunnels in vision
those fingers
poking holes
in my membranes
I saw it in my dreams
I know what he needs
I saw it in my nightmares
and ripped the head
from its many arms
all empty heart
come fill me up
come fill me with your sour seed
Apache Skin
come on home
where wildness grows
in thick thorny beds
up the side of my skull
come on home
and nestle down in these canyons
of flesh
I'm waiting
and I have swallowed the worlds
in my galaxy of eyes
just for your enjoyment

Ma'at

turn your big white
lidless eye
on me
pallid moon

witness to my rising
crown of teeth
at calvary
I dug up ancient red skull

I saw alters to cats
I watched the dead
weigh their souls against feathers
I saw blood run waist deep in the street

history was a flat disc
flattened by murderous hands
that molded us in its image
and the lidless moon watched all

never blinked
never sinked
below that dark horizon
Morning Star carried her on his back

Morning Star fell
and kissed her on the way down
Lilith is my willful mother
formed from dust and spit

we saw the shore
heard Romans slashing the gates
saw Germanic tribes gashing the Romans
saw all and breathed life into careful death

Furies gave me name at the foot of Dis
The Morrigan built me a heart of battlefield meat
Scathach broke my fingers
and Hecate filled my head with stars

they named my flesh Woman
set me in the way of all men
so insolent and sure
their dicks swinging in their hands

set me, Woman, in the way
gave me divine right, judgement
set big pallid moon
pulling at my womb

told me to tug the world from mud
stand against little vengeful god
vomit at his feet
as we live without him

big white moon
eternal, lidless
turn your eye on me
as I rip their ribs out

and remake the heavens in the image of Woman