Tea and Cookies with the AntiChrist

"Why would a woman,
such as you are,
welcome such violent pursuits?"
he asked biting into a particularly succulent chocolate cookie.

"Now, my dear, isn't that the great question of our time.
How can I be a woman,
and still like to fuck hard and fast?
How can I be a woman,
and wish bloody vengeance on the rapists of the world?
How can I be a woman,
and enjoy it when my lovers beg for me to hurt them?
How can I be a woman,
and love the crack of a riding crop against the bottom of a squirming attractive conquest?
How can I be a woman,
and love to tie up my willing victims?
How can I be a woman,
and walk like a man?
How can I be a woman,
and fuck like a man?
How can I be a woman,
and swear like a sailor?
How can I be a woman,
and push the boundaries of propriety?
How can I be a woman,
and love being a slut?
How can I be a woman,
and want to hold you down while I fuck you?
How can I be a woman,
and not want to suck your cock?
How can I be a woman,
and be unapologetic about my unbridled sexuality?
How can I be a woman,
and fuck women like men and men like women?
How can I be a woman,
and tell dirty jokes?
How can I be a woman,
and enjoy a good kung-fu movie?
How can I be a woman,
and know how to shoot a gun?
How can I be a woman,
and know how to eat pussy?
How can I be a woman,
and want to smack you across the face for asking me that question?"
I responded while sipping my hot tea.
I rearranged my napkin in my lap.

He brushed the cookie crumbs from his chin,
nodded thoughtfully,
and said,

"Listen, do you wanna get outta here?"