into the pillow
it left fabric lines
in my skin
I had shut my eyes
and bit the inside of my cheek
and hoped the moment
would not end
stars pressed against my eyelids
flesh hardened
found its way home
inside me
I knew what would come next
but I held out
futile hope
telling myself lies
telling myself smooth skin
already lost in the act
the movement
the play within plays
my knees gave out first
I wandered about the floor
tipping toes upon cold tile
footfalls in the forests of my mind
the beauty of sharp metal
pressed up against white skin
the droplets so crimson
welling up like jewels
and the penetration of emotion
was the lie
the flesh still here
still able to feel but cold
I saw his eyes as he slipped down the staircase
I saw the devil follow close behind
and with every pointed finger I had left
I carved those dreams out of my mind
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