Lustre

such starved hands
kneading the flesh at my breast
digging digits down as far as the skin would allow
when I pried the fingers away
little half moons were left in angry red

you never saw the aftermath
did not see the swaying
when I slumped against the wall
and felt the air go out of my lungs
the fight go out of my mind

angry half moons stared at me
waiting for the telephone to ring
for a voice that had moved on in a snap
my own hands jumping
and all the lustre gone from the stars

I washed my hair
felt the water swallow up my slipping
slept in shallow fits
and roamed the room like a wraith
startling myself in the mirror

'your eyes are so sad'
I think you meant hollow and burdened
seeming as there was a rupture in the closing distance
shimmering under my skin
and I saw the drips of another life

I felt the ghosts of kisses on my lips
signatures of your hasty love
and even quicker departure
the door slammed
and my hair came lose over the world's edge

to the gate I have spoken
and he tells me I am a burden, girl
he says there is red where my feet should be touching grass
I have no distance on me
caught you in little edges of happiness with my teeth
too sharp to love

I am as slick as stones
alight in tall grass but unwinded
frost-covered in dawn's chilly arms
and now nature to all emotions
too much for one man

I am blight in the wind
a heavy touch upon your cheek
all out of feeling and forgetting
and down by the alley way
I see the cats darting through the weeds

my hands are all ember
leaving heated trails of fevered disaster
down the crook of your neck
in the amber sun
I am one burning smile away from the end

I twist my fingers and can tell you your future
I can tell you what you felt yesterday
and tomorrow I will be shadowing my dreams
finding my colour lustrously dead
and flying furiously on into a gloriously red dawn
without you tied around my neck