A Dim Wish

You have given me words and I have used them;
You have given me thoughts and I have twisted them;
You have touched me and in that moment I let it happen.

Your hands took my integrity
with the force of your fingers,
digging into my thighs
running your teeth down my spine.

I screamed and you smiled.
I crumpled under your weight and you giggled madly,
Madman...
Madness riddling your brain;
making your eyes little dark holes in your head.
Your smile is all crooked teeth,
and malicious intent;
You peer into my mouth with that look on your face
and I know I am lost.

Lost to your crippled heart;
When you pull against me, I bend,
I never wanted to
but in the moment I lose all choice--
All independent movement;
Suddenly puppet to your demented driving,
The mad giggling shrill in my ears.

You are poison reaching, poised intent;
No gentility only tearing.
Me, tearing.
A ripping in the event,
The time, me.
You are the year in reverse,
mad eyes rolling back in your head
as you drive your fingers deeper into me.
Ripper reaper nipper seeper--

You are the death of my dreams,
You are the death of my skin,
all teeth and fingers and material madness.
I hate you with all my aching,
my arching,
I hate you.

A dim wish fills my mind--

Your hand covers my mouth,
Fluttering,
and everything goes dark
in the shadow of your black intent;
Your darker plan.
And I am extinguished in the eyes of God.
Abandoned here,
Wrecked on your insane shore.
Wreckage all around me.

I drown in you,
Rippling in the light,
Grinding your teeth together,
Running your tongue over your rotting lips,
I am looped in the loops of your hair,
and know I am drowning there.
I hold my breath and sink.
The world goes dim-- dark,
I hear you laughing from far away,
I am gone,
and no one will ever search for me here.