Cells

it is the darkest hunger
in the circle of mine arms
and my kiss is eating

i am an open wound
split for the sky
where you pour in

just under my skin

and around the lips
we go
to and fro

no better idea
to this land
which i trace

with fingertips lost yesterday

flesh of my flesh
ash of my ash
you are my lesson

i am never right
witness your eyes
tears tell all memories

in me you see no star

that evening skin
early morning touch
your lips upon my breasts

vessel all empty
fill me up
i am no use for you

and you burn my name from your tongue

Poems Written While Drunk

she said 'bring me a stubby beer bottle
and a pack of smokes'
then she flicked lit matches at my head

i replied 'there's only one thing I wanna do
right now
and that's eat snacks and kiss you'

she frowned at me
and said 'don't be stupid'
knocking the rest of the whiskey back
straight outta the bottle

she then proceeded to throw that
at my head too
luckily I can duck real fast
even when I'm drunk

that's about when the room
started to spin counter-clockwise
but she was spinning clockwise
for some insane and ultimately invalid reason

she had taken her top off by this point
and I could see her nipples
pressing against the thin fabric of her bra
I thought about diving head first into her cleavage
like a man overboard

she threatened to strangle me
with my own tongue
when she caught me staring

I slurred 'have you ever
seen a drunk skunk?'
to quickly change the topic
and avoid the violence i knew she was capable of

'I wanna swim with bow-legged women
and someone should invite a duck'
she rolled her eyes
until I thought they'd come right outta her head

she didn't think much of my ideas
but I knew I could wear her down
if I let her beat me about the head for awhile
I nodded 'I'm gonna need another drink
if we're gonna get into this shit'

I polished off one of several bottles
littering the table
and swayed a little to the side

that's when she came at me with a lit cigarette
and the thickest bible I've ever seen
thwacking me upside the head
and knocking me flat on my back
over the side of the table

'if we're gonna do this'
she roared holding the burning ember of the cigarette to my eye
'I'm gonna need better drugs than this bullocks you got
you sorry fucking bastard'

that's about when everything went completely black
and I prayed for someone to save my soul
I knew I shouldn't have been writing poems when I was drunk
that shit's just plain old dangerous

Nancy by the Sea

so I got this big amber bottle of tequila
and I named it Nancy
so I could drown some bad ideas for awhile

Nancy said
'you realize bad ideas tend to tie
floaters to their heads'

she was right of course
but I always preferred self-destruction
over conversation anyways

I took Nancy to the beach
so we could listen to the boats
smash up on the rocky shore

and laugh as the sailors fell in
thrashing about the water
like parasites

Nancy knew all the best dirty jokes
and recited them one after the other
until we were both rolling on the ground
clutching our sides

Nancy tasted of gasoline and cigarette butts
and had this tendency to make my head spin
but she was still the best company I had all week

Nancy suggested we get naked
and run into the surf
it seemed like a good idea at the time

I was always a fan of nudity
and doomed attempts at fun
so I flung my clothes over the railing
and ran straight into the crashing waves

once set to sea
Nancy bobbed next to me
asking 'is he really worth it?'

I answered between lungfuls of salty water
'why the fuck not?
what else better do I have to do on a Monday night?'

they found me a week later
clinging to a buoy covered in seagull shit
muttering 'Nancy, Nancy,
why did you leave me?'

as it turns out
my lovers never stick around for long
and bad ideas really do float

The Distance Between God and Womankind

how was I to know
what my skin would do to you
I`m a nun from now on

I`m all black and white
and silky penguin sweat
I`ll live on my looks for awhile

if I can outrun
the Devil
I can outrun you

Jesus Christ
walks into a bar
and I catch your eye

someday you`ll die
and I'll come to your funeral
in a red dress

you're lips keep me up
laying for hours in a day
where did this get me?

well Father Lucifer
who did you follow this time?
I know no saints

I'd kiss you
even if you were planting
bullets in my chest

let's maintain this good time
order pink cocktails
inhale smoke from pretty lips

fire a few clips
dance like the whole fucking room is watching
order food we don't plan to eat

fuck like we mean it
save the truth for
stupider men

someone's gotta help me sleep
on these unnatural settings
and I love you

it's only my dirty tongue
and it's unnatural ability
to suck cock without regret

Jesus Christ
walked into a hotel
and gave me pointers

the Devil offered critiques of my style
I've still got eyes for you
they're in that box over there

come and see me
when your heart is finally glued all back together
I'll tell you about dinosaur bones
and the distance between God and womankind

Candy

I came here to be a Monster

if I'm the realization of all your worst fears
more hungry rows of teeth than smile
then you better grow eyes in the back of your head

I came with the ability to sniff out the sweetest flesh
I came with a violent past
I came with a taste for bones and candy

when you said 'I'm losing something'
I looked down and replied 'you're losing blood'

and when you asked 'what are you?'
I didn't have an answer

but I know when I finally bite into you
you will taste like candied apples
all sweet and sticky and red
dripping all over my legs on a hot summer night

you're sweeter than all the treats at the carnival
like rotting sugar and pennies
and I could lick you off my fingers
all day long

I could eat you like strawberry pie
and suck up your insides like clotted cream

with my filthy claws in your chest
I can tell you who I am
and show you your creamy fillings

you are a chocolate covered gummy bear
I just can't wait to sink my teeth into
and I enjoy biting the heads off first

I may not be your dream girl
but I am more than happy to be
your little honeyed nightmare

you've got eyes like bright bulging gumballs
and they will roll into the back of your head
you're sweeter than any syrup I've ever tasted
I want you like gumdrops

and when you are all used up
when I've lapped up every sticky drop
you'll be a candy wrapper
all eaten and balled up and tossed in the trash

but I'll still be darkly hungry
and I'll have to move on
to find someone else just as delicious to eat
like a bagful of pretty shiny candy

I came here to be a Monster
and every dreadfully beautiful day
I violently and sweetly succeed

Outlaw on a TV Screen

I said
'come on cowboy,
make your move'

he had hesitation
down to a
frustrating science

it was too late
for either of us
to act like we didn't
want to

like we didn't
have skin
under all that leather

and up in heaven
devils masquerading as angels
were just as naked

I had a bag full of my sins
and a gun
hidden under the mattress
I'd show it all to him
if he would only ask

somewhere a guitar screamed
with throat singers
crooning the stories
of our ragged love
to indifferent audiences

the bird of the morning
was looking for us
as our bodies
slid against sweat slicked
coves pitched in the sheets

I would liked to have
abused my hands
on the sharp edges
of his Hollywood smile

smoked all the cigarettes
in the world
just to have that hoarse voice
trip over me in the night

just to ride that big black mare
over to him
kicking up rippling dust
on the edge of some
tricking sky

like some gun-slinging outlaw
in an old black and white Western
glittering on the TV screen
the only source of light in the room

and they said 'tell us your name'
and three of them were dead
before they hit the ground
'that's my name.'

I thumbed the hammer back
and the bullet clicked into place
I slipped my other hand into my panties
I licked my lips


And I said,
'come on cowboy,
come on.'

5am

some poems taste like sugar
and you should take them as
the gift they are

your skin
is like a silken map
to careful foreign lands

I would put my fingers
upon you forever
if only life were so simple

if only I could
brush those tears from
your eyelashes

kiss away
what you seem to be
so afraid of

I am here
filling up the room
the light inside me spilling outwards

cascading and splashing against the walls
pale skin glowing in the dark
limbs all flaxen and twisted around the sheets

twisted around your hair
my hands sliding over your face
in my listless mind

nothing was lost
you led us here
suddenly regretting what was behind my eyes

but I am water
I flow
and the currents pull me to you

kisses pried my lips open
hands delivered me
your breath in my ear took me back

5am comes and I am alone again
but the taste lingers like sugar
as I quietly sing myself to sleep

Filthy Heart

he says
'why don't you take your clothes off?'
asks me to get up
and walk across the room
in my shiny black stilettos

he says
'turn around, turn around'
my ass swaying
his eyes following
these ideas coming
fast and dirty now

he says
'why don't you put on that tight dress for me,
so I can watch you take it off again?'
his hands now full of my ass cheeks
slipping his tongue out to lick his lips

and I sway
strut
slink like a leopard
all sex and beautiful want
a momentary goddess
in the eyes of an enraptured audience of one

when he is on his knees in front of me
I slip my hands into his hair
I press myself against his face
and come up empty
on gasping
shivering straight down to my toes

and when it's all over
when I'm throbbing in deep places
sore and sweating
when he gets up to put his pants on
eying the quickest path to the exit
passion all spent
on these filthy little hearts

I think to myself
'well now that it's over,
I think I'll get something to eat.'
the door clicks shut to an empty hall
as I bend to the refrigerator light
and glow in my kitchen
naked in the dark