it drives me fucking mad
that flat black sky
only the moon hanging
her beautiful face obscured
suspended in an empty sickly orange glow
the sun coming too fucking early
like a useless lover
with a useless cock
I need the cover of darkness
to get up to my nefarious deeds
I need to slip between shadows
to feel normal
I miss that blanket of stars
whispering my name
and drawing me out into the empty streets
I hate the morning
it's flushed and pinked skin
winking through the blackout curtians
sneaking in around the edges
trying to rouse me
trying to stir me
trying to ruin me
in the light of day
my neighbors little morning noises
creeping through the walls
the garbage truck waking me with a shock
as it slams the dumpster up into the air
the construction workers across the street
and their fucking saws and hammers
which I threaten to shove up their asses
to no one in particular
how I miss the silence of the night
the clockwork of the world turned still
a million little busy hands
finally stopped
this city groggily asleep
and me slinking about
feeling almost right in all her dark quiet
all her darkness
slipping down my skin
curling about my hair
lighting upon my lips
I am beautiful in the night
straight claimed by her icy fingers
I run wild while you sleep
I've seen the parks too dark
the trees huge and looming masses
the world all the same blackened colour
building become shapes and lose their grandeur
the world no longer finite in the glaring dawn
but black and endless stretching to the heavens
to the dead star light
a million miles away
I slink through the night and watch
the coyotes hunting for rats
big fat black slick furred things
with long yellow teeth
fattened by over flowing dumpsters from upscale restaurants
the coyotes sleek and quick
a jump
a squeal
a gnashing of teeth
and its all over
the alleyways lit by glowing street lights
with fat moths flinging themselves upwards
in crazy loops
to that sulfured glow
the bats swooping in
near silent but the rush of air
past quickened flight
to crunch on those chubby bodies
and disappear back into the dark
the velvety rhythm of their wings
singing me home
from the edge of the bed
all lost in the solid dark
I stare at you through the inky film
as you gently breath in and out
at my side
lost in the folds of my sheets
your features barely audible in the dim light
uncomfortable when you realize I've stopped breathing
you flutter and roll
and pull me closer
yeah,
I watch you when you sleep
and sigh back into the knowledge
that your daylight is going to kill me
that my black little heart can't survive
in the heat of the bright rays
we are shrinking at the thought already
and clinging to the darkness
hiding under the covers
wishing the sunlight would fucking go away
just go away
I'm curled up all small now
deep under the quilts
this false darkness not quite right
listening to your morning skin
clicking the door shut
in search of the garish sun
outside of my beautiful black world
you say
'I've got to claim the day'
more like you've got to get out of here
because in daylight my skin is too white
my truth too glaringly bare
my willingness too easy to see
it's only in the night
that I am beautiful
and without the stars
I am hopelessly lost
howling down the streets
trying to find them
and you
again
