frowning
deep with concentration
as you burrow into my eyes
I can't remember the colour
but I remember
your muscles sliding under your skin
I remember the Apache mounting the hill
traveling up the length of me
I want you slipping
losing your grip on my thighs
falling down river sides
drowning in cunt juice
I saw the cold creeping into you eyes
I thought I was a poet
I thought I could capture this in stupid flowery language
I fed you my song
the song I forgot the words too
and could only hum the tune
you climb those mountains with her hands
mine trapped right here in this bed
I want you between bloody sheets
bloody land between my legs
I have no ground
no ground to plant your feet in
the stars have abandoned me
the ocean spat me back out
young girls lay flowers at your feet
I have only thorns
pretty fat thorns lining my vaginal walls
swaying breasts
filling your mouth
milk of numb gods
with dumb mumbling glazed over eyes
I stumble on the stairs outside your door
and leave pieces of my knees
for you to step on in the morning
I am not beautiful
though I often wish I could be
that lake was as green as my eyes
I wanted to take you there
watch the dragonflies mate in the sunset
show you where the moss met the stream
where that black tail disappeared forever
stepping softly between worn rocks
and rainbow trout
I am too ugly
to bring home to your mother
too monstrous to admit to
rail car teeth
scrapyard smile
backwoods gait
stupid clicking tongue
pale lips
and broken fingernails
Too crooked to care
Too frail to stand
Too stupid to love
you've got better things to do
and I've got a pile of blankets to hide beneath
come find me
when you have no prettier skirts
to slip your hands under
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